


The Others

by NoctellaNocturne



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Advent Calendar, Character Death Fix, Consentacles, Cunnilingus, F/F, Feelings, Klyntar, Klyntar world building galore, Masturbation, Not Beta Read, Other, Plot With Porn, She/Her pronouns for the symbiote, Slow Burn, Surprisingly small amount of cannibalism, Tentacle Sex, They/Them pronouns for the symbiote, Vibrators, mentions of past abusive relationship, mentions of past sexual abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:41:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 36,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21617758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoctellaNocturne/pseuds/NoctellaNocturne
Summary: They were star-bound lovers: destined to one another, each other's perfect half.They overcame the hardship of two entire worlds trying to tear them apart.They nearly lost each other in the process...Only to be reunited in the end and live happily ever after, as destined lovers should.But this is not their story.
Relationships: Dora Skirth/Original Symbiote Character(s), Dora Skirth/Other Symbiote(s), Eddie Brock/Venom Symbiote, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 47
Kudos: 58





	1. The antelope

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone !  
> So this is my second fic written in English, and it wasn't betad', like almost all my fics, so I apologies in advance for the mistakes and unnatural turn of phrases.
> 
> The whole idea of this fic was to create a counter point to Eddie and Venom's relationship and to develop the planet Klyntar, it's history, and it's inhabitants in a different way from the movie and most fics I've read. (Comics who ? I don't know her.)
> 
> I didn't want to whitewash Dora so I've written her Jewish, however my knowledge of Jewish culture, especially in America, is very limited so I didn't go in depth on the topic. Unlike some great fics I've read. I hope I didn't mess up too bad (but if I did please tell me).
> 
> Dora's life until that point has been pretty rough especially regarding her previous relationship so topics like domestic abuse and rape will come up a few times.
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoy this fic !  
> 

The canister opens, the symbiote crawls out of it, and suddenly it dawns on Dora with crystal clarity: She is going to die.

She should try to fight back, find an escape, cry for help, but what would even be the point ? She knows Carlton Drake won't let her out, she has seen his cruelty first hand. And her colleagues won't be much help either, they left as soon as Drake himself did, not wanting to see what their own fate could be were they to disobey their boss. The room itself is impossible to escape from, it was made for that very purpose, to contain experiments. Maybe, if she had more time she could find a way out, but the alien is already upon her.

She looks at it, frozen.

...

They are bundled together on the sofa, her children and her, watching TV in a comfortable drowsiness. They have just eaten. They should probably be watching a family movie, but the kids both insisted on watching a nature documentary. They are weird kids. They take after her.

On screen, the cheetah pounces on its prey, strangling it in the merciful way predators do. Dylan hugs his Elmo plush closer as his eyes start watering so Dora gathers him in a tight embrace:

"It's ok, Dylou." She reassures her younger child while petting his hair. Zoe sighs loudly at the display.

"Stop being such a baby, Dylan."

"As if you didn't cry when the cheetah's brother died." Dora replies. The little girl doesn't say anything, vexation apparent in her body language as she focuses back on the tv: "It's ok to cry." Dora says to both, and maybe a little to herself: "It's ok to feel sad."

"The cheetah is so mean ! He killed the baby antelope !" The little boy whines, his voice heavy with tears.

"Dylan, it's not a matter of being nice or mean. Cheetahs can't eat vegetables like us, they can only eat meat. They don't want to hurt or kill antelopes. They are just hungry."

…

Dora watches the symbiote as it starts crawling up her leg.

Do antelopes know cheetah's don't mean to kill them ? That they are just trying to feed ? And is this any consolation when they are faced with one ? Or are they just like Dora, thinking about their children and how much they are going to cry when they realize that mommy is never coming back. Was any of this worth it if she made her children cry in the end ? Because everything she did, the best, the worst, she did for them, so that they would be safe and happy.

Is that what symbiotes think about when they bound ? Do they think about home ? As they are here, exiled to the far end of the universe, exposed to a toxic atmosphere, shoved into inhospitable bodies they ravenously eat do they think "Maybe if I eat this one, I will get to see my children again ?" as Dora has thought so often ? "Maybe this time it will be the last, maybe it will work and I will get to resign and spend the indecent amount of money I was given to keep my mouth shut on my family's happiness ? Maybe it will be worth it in the end, even as the faces of the dead haunt my nightmares ?" It had become her mantra. Until she had realized, somewhere around the 4thhomeless person dying right before her eyes: She couldn't make it. She wasn't strong enough to take it. Drake may see them as nothing more than disposable bodies but they were people. Somewhere, someone was missing them. Somewhere, a child was crying over the antelope's death.

She feels the ghost of a touch on her lips before the symbiote merges with her... And suddenly all she can feel is hunger, burning and all encompassing. Her mouth waters, her stomach twist in tightly tangled knots, her head hurts like never before and everything is too bright.

She tries to look for food but there is nothing in the lab and nothing outside, the others are gone, they left her here and they don't attend to come back.

No, they left _them_ here, with no food, and an open canister.

And suddenly she realises: They are _both_ going to die.


	2. If mirrors could talk

_-No.-_

Dora blinks as she falls to the ground.

- _I won't die. I refuse to die. I will eat, and I will live.-_

The voice sounds like a whisper in her head, like her own whisper. If mirrors could talk, she believes that's what her reflection would sound like. Maybe that's exactly what it is, her subconscious trying to remind her that she must live. After all, symbiotes never showed any desire, or capacity, to communicate with humans.

 _I'm sorry_ , she thinks, _but I don't think I'm going to make it out alive this time._

_-Then die. I don't care. I will eat you and I will live. I must.-_

Dora blinks some more, as familiar as this voice is, it is not hers. Also, the lights are hurting her eyes, her heart is beating too fast and her breathing is getting more and more swallow. She is panicking. Except _she_ is not.

_Are you... Are you the symbiote ?_

- _There must be some way out... There must be a drain, a crack, a vent, something !_ -

There is fear in that voice, restlessness, desperation, and Dora feels genuinely sorry for the alien.

_There isn't. I'm... I'm sorry. There is no way out and I think the others locked us both in with no food on purpose. They want us both dead. I'm so sorry._

This could have been so different... They had been doing so well at first. All she had needed was time. Time to put on a protocol ; time to change the test subjects to increasingly larger mammals with increasingly more complex brains ; time to understand what kind of food the symbiotes needed and the best way to provide it to them. It could have gone smoothly, painlessly, for both parties. But Carlton Drake wasted their opportunity of first peaceful alien encounter over... Over what ? Profit ? Fame ? Dora isn't even sure anymore.

The panic recedes, giving place to anger and frustration and this time it is unclear wether it's hers or the symbiote's.

- _This was supposed to be_ different _! This was my one chance ! I can't die like this, not now ! Not now that I'm finally here !-_

Dora feels vaguely annoyed by how self centered the alien is. After all it's a tragedy for her too so a little bit of consideration would be nice. Because _maybe_ she doesn't want to spend her last moment in this world listening to the complain of a self-absorbed a-hole from other space ?

 _Hey._ She interrupts: _If we are both going to die, let's at least have a nice chat. You're not alone here._

At that the symbiote stops it's rummaging, their attention focusing on the human:

_-So it would seem.-_

For a second it's as if Dora's brain is being scanned, except she can feel it. It's not exactly pleasant, but it's also very short.

 _-Dora Skirth. I have seen you before. You were the one monitoring us when Carrion decided to bound with a lesser life form and everything went to shit. An herbivore. What were they even_ thinking _?-_

_Carrion ? Is that the yellow symbiote ? You... You have names ?_

_-Warrior names. Yes.-_

_That's... Worrisome. What is yours ?_

_-Shudder.-_

_Shudder. How come I'm not dead yet ?_

_-You will be. As soon as I find a way out of this cell, I will eat whatever I can and look for a compatible host myself since you and the other scientists seem so inept at finding me one.-_

Dora wants to argue that she hasn't been the one collecting desperate strangers in the street to throw them at a hungry alien life form but instead she asks:

_How long can you survive outside without a host ?_

_-Long enough.-_

_Are you sure ?_

Silence.

 _There no drain, there is no crack, unless someone opens this door we are stuck here and without my body you are like a fish on dry land. You won't make it._ A beat: _Why am I not a compatible host?_

The symbiote answers reluctantly, they sound tired:

 _-This, is not how symbiosis is supposed to feel like. You feel. Foreign. I understand how you work but we are not connected in the way we should be. It's like...-_ Dora feels a wave wash through her brain again as Shudder looks for a human equivalent of what they are trying to say. _-It's like driving a car.-_

_Can't you work around it ?_

_-I could. I could just take take control, there is nothing easier, that's what we've all been trained for our whole life.-_

The symbiote sounds resentful and Dora is more and more alarmed though she cannot express it. Maybe peaceful encounter was never an option...

_-But even if I puppet your body they won't let me out because it's just as you said, Drake wants you dead. And apparently some of your colleagues want me dead too... Unless...-_

_Unless we look dead enough for them to open the door._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing: Shudder !  
> I hope you'll like them !
> 
> Comments make me happy ! ^^


	3. Hunger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tag may say "surprisingly small amount of cannibalism" but there is still some and all happens in this chapter so yeah, consider yourself warned.

When Dora regains consciousness she is in the back of a pickup truck.

The plastic bag around her makes her suffocate for a few seconds before she realizes she can tear through it easily. It's pitch black outside, her suit is covered in what looks like blood, and she feels cold. She is about to ask what happened when the hunger hits her.

It's nothing like it was in the lab. Suddenly, she cannot think, she cannot breathe, she can't do anything but watch in horror as something covers her entirely. And then she starts moving.

The device, a "truck" their host supplies, moves at a steady speed through the woods. It is unsure where it will lead them, but Shudder is not kin on finding out. And anyway, they must feed. It's the only thing on their mind now.

They climb on top of the front part of the vehicle without a sound and claw it open. They don't even need their full force, the thin metal and plastic tear like paper and the panicked screams of the two humans inside are music to their ears. They taste like fear. It's even richer as they snap the first one's head clean off. The taste of pheromones mixed with the texture of flesh is intoxicating as much as it's invigorating.

They had been starved for so long.

A loud detonation rings as a small piece of metal lodges itself on their shoulder but they barely pay attention, too busy finishing their meal. They'll take it out ounce they have assimilated all the nutrients necessary. They hear two more shots before they decide taking the last parts of their first prey out of it's retrains will have to wait until they have silenced this one.

Shudder leaves the vehicle as it crashes now that there is no driver to control it.

They feel way better already. They go as far as sparing some resources to their host: Healing her shoulder and replenishing the body fat they used to make a decoy earlier. Their was not much to use in the first place so they add a little from their meal. The human needs more of the thing, it's cold outside.

Their symbiosis is far from perfect. In fact, it's what Shudder would call, in scientific terms, a total mess.

Their host is not incompatible per se. Actually, compared to the others until now, she is more than decent. It's just that her nervous system is nothing like what Shudder has ever experienced. But that's just humans, apparently. So it feels a lot like being crammed into an alien space ship and being said "now _drive_."

Of course, they had crashed the first few ships ! Especially in such a state of hunger. Then, after a few trials and error, they had started to be able to understand what controlled what; but as soon as they established contact it was as if a mental barrier appeared and their host rejected them completely. Apparently most humans didn't enjoy having another being in their body. Or head.

Of course they could have taken control but... They didn't _want_ to.

Shudder sighs. Air leaves their hosts lungs as they do so. Their lungs. Or at least, the one they can manipulate to a certain extent. It doesn't feel their. Inside them they can feel their host's entire body, a foreign presence they are somehow connected to.

This is nothing like what the scriptures depicted.

And that's before the host suddenly starts to fight them.

...

If Dora remembered being in the womb, this is probably what her memories would feel like. Everything around her is warm, wet and comforting. As the other moves, she moves and as it eats, she eats. Her mind is in a state of altered consciousness where everything feels faraway and dream like. Lights are dimmed, screams are drown, even the pain from the bullet that hits her shoulder is lessened by the gel like texture of the other. All she feels is hungry.

But as the hunger abates, Dora suddenly realizes what happened.

Her mouth tastes like blood, the screams of the men she just killed echo in her ears and she can feel the fantom pain from the bullet she took, though she can also tell there is no more wound. Everything makes sense now: The symbiotes are predators, they need live preys, and the easiest to catch are humans.

In a flash Dora thinks about her children, about her mother: Easiest preys of them all.

And she fights.

It's like swimming in slime as she goes back to the surface of her own consciousness, and when she can finally feel her body as her own once more, it's as heavy as lid. Moving the tip of her fingers requires the same amount of energy as lifting a solid wood table and for the first time in her life she can feel muscles moving as she blinks. But she keeps pushing. She has to.

Little by little she wins back her own body, the other relinquishing control as it disappears into her skin. When she finally has complete control of her organs the first thing she does is scream:

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT ?!"

 _-We needed food.-_ Is the symbiote's reply: - _I was famished and so were you since I've consumed every excess of fat I could find to make a plausible decoy of my corpse. You're welcome, by the way. I could have changed my mind, eaten you, and went with one of the others. As a matter of fact, I still can.-_

"There is no need to try to threaten me. I understand that you needed food, I could feel it. And those two were indeed the easiest preys. It's probably a good thing you killed them anyway, or they would have tried to finish the job. No, I was asking why on earth I had just woken up in the back of a truck in the middle of a frigging forest when the last thing I remembered was dying in a lab... Wait, that actually makes a lot of sense. What were you saying about a decoy ?"

_-You don't remember ? It's even worse than I thought...You get nothing unless I project. Strongly.-_

"Oh I'm sorry I'm not up to your standards Miss Hard To Please !" Dora puffs: "So the decoy: Explain."

- _I made you pass out, stopped your heart, kept on carrying oxygen through your system manually and created, then expelled, a decoy of my corpse so the others would believe we had both died. After that, I laid low until we were out of the facility. Also, your attempt at insulting me is weak at best._ -

"Hey, I'm not at the best of my capacities ok ? I kinda got forcefully coerced into a symbiotic relationship with an alien today, in case you didn't notice."

- _How terrible, I can't begin to imagine how that feels like_.-

"Was... Was that a joke ?"

- _Yes. Is your specie also incapable of humor ?_ -

Dora blinks a few times before she remembers what made her regain control in the first place: This creature is dangerous.

"You feed of living preys and humans are an easy catch. I get it. No problem. But here is the thing, Shudder. I have kids, and if whatever the hell you are put them in danger, in any way, I **will** kill you."

- _You can't kill me. I'll take you with me_.-

"I don't care. I died once already, it's not as much of a big deal as everyone says it is."

- _You are being ridiculous. You would sacrifice yourself for your spawn ? You could just make others.-_

"No. No I cannot. And that you would even think it possible tells me everything I need to know about your specie." Dora gets the strange cold wave feeling in her head again before the symbiote talks:

 _-So what ? Now you think yourself superior because of your empathy ? Well I have some bad news for you: First, my specie has been swallowing planets like yours whole in a matter of days way before the first of your kind started walking on their back legs. In terms of power imbalance, you might as well try to kill a polar bear with a toothpick. Second, the_ only _reason you are still alive and able to think freely right now is because you got lucky and stumbled upon the only "symbiote" who doesn't like taking brains over. Emphasis on "doesn't like" which, in case you didn't notice, doesn't mean "can't". And the third bad news is that there are others like me coming. And when I say like me, I don't mean like_ me _, I mean like Riot.-_

 _"_ Who's Riot ?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More verbal sparing between Dora and Shudder ! \o/  
> Better get used to it, this is pretty much the core component of the first 5 chapters. X'D  
> Also dialogues in general are what I enjoy writing the most ! ^^  
> Comments are always welcome ! ^^


	4. The best laid plans of mice

The walk in the woods is almost peaceful. Above them the sky is full of stars and the wildlife is the only thing disturbing the solemn silence of the trees. Or it would be, if Shudder wasn't talking non stop in Dora's head. From what she understands of the onslaught of informations the symbiotes didn't make contact by accident: they were sent as some sort of scouting mission to find new planets to colonize.

So indeed, this was never meant to be peaceful encounter. Which doesn't atone for Carlton Drake's decision to play mad scientist and downright torture members of the two species but helps Dora feel marginally better. Maybe it was for the best that Drake's ruthlessness had been faster than the alien's plans.

It does break the scientist's heart a little, though. She had wanted to believe that whatever would come from the stars would be more peaceful and smarter than them...

As for Riot, the symbiote that disappeared and is presumably dead, it is the leader of the scouting mission. It's pretty obvious in their tone that Shudder doesn't like Riot but the exact reason is unclear:

- _Riot is a brute. Or a winner depending on who you are asking. He is the prime example of a Klyntar ruler: Strong, violent, smart when needs be, and vicious.-_ The alien supplies.

"Does that make you weak, peaceful and dumb ?"

- _What makes you think I'm not a winner myself ?_ -

"If you were, you wouldn't be so bitter."

- _I'm not bitter !... Well maybe I am... But I'm pretty high in the Klyntar hierarchy. As much as there is a lasting hierarchy on Klyntar. Also, I'm not any of the things you mentioned. It's just that unlike Riot and Carrion, I have higher aspirations in life than food and an easy ride._ -

"And what would that be ?"

_-Wouldn't you like to know.-_

"Ok, I overstepped, got it. So Riot is a brute and you are a refined lady: What about the other symbiotes... The black one for example ?"

- _Venom ? Why do you ask about them ?_ -

"Well, they kinda bounded with someone I know and took off..."

- _Venom found a host ?_ -

"You sound surprised."

- _Well yes. Venom is... Venom IS weak, peaceful and dumb. Or at least used to be. Now they are just weak and dumb._ -

"Why do I get the feeling there is some history there ?"

- _Overstepping._ -

"Alright, alright !"

_-Where are we going by the way ?-_

"Life foundation."

"- _WHAT ?!-_ "

Dora screams at the face that materializes before her. It's downright nightmarish, the same deep dark blue she saw on the symbiote before it bounded, but surmounted with huge empty white eyes. The scientist is unsure, at first, wether they are actual eyes: their shape ending in some strange upward pattern that make them look like splashes of paint. The only thing hinting that they might be real being their opal like texture. Under those pseudo eyes lies the most terrifying maw doctor Skirth has ever seen: Three rows of three inches long, sharp, and glistening teeth. And though the shape of their non existent jaw makes them look like they are smiling, Shudder is visibly pissed:

" _-ARE YOU KIDDING ME ?! We just GOT OUT ?!-_ " Oddly enough, even when they seem to be screaming at the top of their lungs, Shudder's voice is only slightly above Dora's regular voice level. But then again, it probably makes sense for a being that is trying to speak without any visible lungs to do so.

" IS THIS WHAT YOU REALLY LOOK LIKE ?!"

"- _You have flat teeth, pink skin and hair growing in weird places:_ you _don't get to comment on what_ I _look like !-"_

"Yes I hecking do ! How does one go from somewhat cute pile of goo to this abomination ?!"

"- _I... You think we're cute !?_ -"

"I think you're **somewhat** cute. Don't get conceited."

"- _The point remains, we are NOT going back to this shit hole ! What do you even want to do there ? Exact revenge upon your enemies ? You think yourself some kind of warrior ? Because let me tell you this Dora: You are not. And neither am I.-"_

"If you're not a warrior what do you have warrior's name for ?"

- _None of your fucking business._ -

"Language ! Also what ? You're scared of the big bad speakers ?"

"- _We'll see how you react when they take out the flamethrower.-_ "

"That's why we need a plan, and oh, would you look at that ! We have plenty of time to think about one before we reach the facility since _someone_ crashed what could have been our ride."

"- _We don't need a car. And what do you want a plan for ? Carrion and Riot are dead, which means Venom and I are the only one here. You're safe, there is no mission anymore, congrats, you've won.-_ "

"Yeah, right, what makes you think Venom won't complete the mission ? And earlier you said others were coming and now you're backing off ? Also let me tell you, if Drake looses all the symbiotes he is definitely sending another rocket to get more back."

"- _Venom won't complete the mission because... They are Venom. Finding an host is their priority, they won't actively partake in the mission unless they are coerced into it by Riot or Carrion. As for me, the furthest I am from this mess the better: I'm a scientist, I'll leave the warmongering idiots to their own volition any day.-_ "

"That leaves Drake. When he finds out we're alive, he's going to hunt us down. And wether any of his tests bears fruits or not, he is going to set another rocket to get more symbiotes. And then you will have to deal with the warmongering idiots wether you want it or not."

_"-In that case, we better get going.-"_

And all of a sudden, Dora is once again covered in some sort of slime like texture.

Now that she is a bit more aware, she notices a few things: First, she is insanely tall. Second, her hands are enormous and clawed. And third, she has a tail. She barely has the time to register that last bit of information that they take off.

The symbiote wasn't kidding, they definitely don't need a car.

They run on four legs, jumping over roots and avoiding trees with ease, they are going so fast the forest around them is a blur. Dora's own legs and arms are moving underneath the symbiote's body, and she registers the unfamiliar movement of the symbiote's tail somewhere at the base of her spine, but she doesn't feel the texture of the forest ground or the wind on her skin.

Soon, she spots lights moving faraway in the darkness:

The Life Foundation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shudder face reveal !  
> Also we get to know a little about Klyntar, there will be a lot more of that in the future !  
> Hope you like Shudder's personality so far !


	5. Smoke on the water

She doesn't have a plan yet, but she is thinking as they get ever closer to the building. First, kill Drake. But then ? What if someone else takes his place ? What if all of their combined researches end in the hands of another scientist willing to sacrifice human lives ? She has to destroy everything, all the datas that could be used by anyone else. Such a tragedy must never happen again.

As she is getting closer to the facility she notices the lights on the launching site and the speakers blaring. Are they planning to get new specimens already ? Does that mean Brock is dead or are they just desperate ? Whatever the reason they need to find Drake and stop him. Now.

The symbiote opens their mouth and taste the air:

"- _Found him_.-" They say. And they bolt in the direction of the rocket launching control tower.

"Wait, the cameras !" Dora screams in alarm.

- _Don't worry about it._ \- The symbiote replies as they jump the gates of the launching site and easily skitter up the side of the building.

That's when Dora notices that they are perfectly silent. They don't even leave a trace of their ascension, their hands and feet morphing into some sort of gecko feet adhering easily to the rough walls. Impressive, but an almost 3 meters tall lizard crawling up a building is hardly stealthy.

- _Unless the 3 meters tall lizard is invisible._ -

_What ?_

They reach the window as they say so, and indeed none of the scientist seem to notice their presence. Neither does Drake standing in the control room, looking as proper as usual. To think that she once stood beside him watching the screen in anticipation and awe as the rocket launched makes Dora sick.

There must be a way in not too far. This area is nowhere as well protected as the laboratory proper, they can just climb down a vent and catch their prey from it, Alien style. Now that she thinks about it, that movie really has an entirely different feel to it when you're on the xenomorph's side of things... Dora 's smile is wicked under the symbiote's.

_Let's give him a taste of his own medicine._

_-Wait. Something's wrong.-_

No sooner do they say that that a legit tentacle emerges from Drake's arm and grabs one of the scientists. Dora almost screams but the symbiote prevents her from doing so. What happens next is straight out of a nightmare.

As the tentacle/arm keeps holding the man Dora recognizes him: Professor Brooks. They didn't work in the same department but they had talked a little at the party organized after the first successful launching. But then, from the tentacle, some sort of silver slime like texture rises and starts engulfing Drake's shape, growing ever taller and larger until the human's body is completely encased in it.

The creature is ridiculously large, overgrown muscles rippling under a metallic looking skin and deep red veins, and it has the most frightening face Dora has ever scene, Shudder's included.

_What in the world is that thing ?!_

_-That "thing" is Riot.-_

On the other side of the panel, Riot drives an unnecessarily large blade through Brooks' heart and the scene erupts into chaos, men and women start screaming and running toward the exit. The few that don't make it out in time end up sliced by two enormous scythes before the creature jumps through the front window.

_Did your boss... Bound to mine ? Is this some kind of cosmic joke or are all powerful dirtbags across the universe that similar ?_

- _Believe me in term of intergalactic assholes, the worst is yet to come. Because I'm pretty sure Riot is planning to jump on that rocket right back to Klyntar to bring in reinforcement._ -

_Yeah, the mission, I got it. The question is, how do we stop them ?_

_-We don't.-_

_What ?_

_-Riot found a suitable, and apparently quite powerful, host. It's over.-_

_No it's not ! We have to stop them ! We can still sabotage the rocket I saw how you opened that car earlier !_

_-And die in the process ? No thank you. Either we go up against Riot and they'll eat us, or we sabotage the rocket and die a fiery death. I don't even give a damn about your planet Dora, wether you live or die makes no difference to me. My survival ranks above all.-_

_Then you better get moving because believe me if that rocket takes off, you're a dead woman._

_-So you say. But we're not in the cage anymore, there are plenty of possible hosts out there, I could just drop you. And it's a long way down.-_

_So what ? You're just going to watch... Wait, what's that ?_

_"-...VENOM ?! Have they lost their mind ?!-"_

From their view point they can see distinctly the smaller symbiote jump in front of Riot. The size difference is evident and Dora starts to see why Shudder called them weak. For a hot second Shudder thinks Venom is going to follow Riot into the rocket, that they are going to follow orders as they always do.

But then, the impossible happens:

Riot attacks...

And Venom fights back.

Shudder is so surprised they lose control over their limbs, allowing Dora to make them jump from the tower and run toward the fight scene.

They get here just in time to see Riot absorb the smaller symbiote and their host, Dora and Shudder both stay frozen in place, fear paralyzing them. What can they possibly do against _that_?

Suddenly, the most horrible sound in history blares through the speakers. Dora feels it in her bones, in her very cells, shaking her entire being to the core. No, not her entire being, Shudder's, the sound is hurting Shudder, making them part from her. Between one breath and the next, Dora is alone in her own body again.

The shock barely registers as Dora watches the two shapes of Drake and Eddie fight. One well placed punch and Eddie wins, pushing Drake from the end of the platform into the unforgiving waters below.

Except... Oh god is that Riot ?! Dora doesn't have the time to scream, the move is lightning fast, one second Drake is falling to his death, the next Riot is piercing Eddie's torso. Dora starts running toward the platform before she remembers: She is alone, without Shudder this thing will kill her with one hit. Shudder ! Where is she ?! She looks around her, but the time it takes her to spot the little puddle of shaking goo trying to reach her seems like an eternity. She reaches for it and it gets back into her before they both focus on the fight again: Above them, Eddie and Venom are already back together and chasing Riot, one of the stronger symbiote's own blade in hand.

- _They're going to sabotage the rocket !_ \- Shudder realizes and without a second thought they cover and maneuver Dora's body, making her jump into the water just as the first explosion rings.

When they resurface, the blinding light is hidden from them by a huge shadow, at first they think it's some debris coming their way but soon they realize:

Venom just shielded their host and protected him from impact.

And by doing so exposed most of themselves to the fire.

Dora's stomach drop. But the feeling is not her's, it's Shudder's. The symbiote is in an utter state of dread as they swim toward the body that hits the water ; and it only grows as they grabs the human and drag him to the shore.

Eddie is alive, but out cold. Shudder forms partly around him, and starts some sort of transfusion. Dora can't feel most of the process, it seems to be a symbiote only thing but she can tell something that was in her body is being transferred to Eddie's. All the while Shudder is muttering:

" _-You think yourself some kind of hero ?! Sacrificing yourself for your host ?! What did you think this was, the ballad of Drüslhaikm ?!-_ "

That's when Dora realizes, Shudder is not healing Eddie, even though he might need it, they are healing the symbiote. All the while they keep cursing, louder and louder:

_"-Congrats you just saved Earth you fucking dumbass ! Your host is safe and happy and you're DYING ! DON'T YOU DIE ON ME VENOM ! DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE !"_

**"...Shudder ?"**

Dora nearly cries of relief , no they both do.

**"Is Eddie... Ok... ?"**

"- _Yes, your dumb host is fine._ -"

**"He is... Dumb... But he... Is my... Txetlu..."**

"- _And you're his Tëëtslid yeah, yeah I got it, how fucking romantic, now stop talking and heal !_ -"

"Eddie !"

They turn invisible and run away just as a blond woman starts running toward the passed out human who also starts coming back to his senses.

 _And now ?_ Dora asks as she watches the emotional reunion from the top a tree.

- _We eat. There is a deer over there._ -

_And then ?_

- _You do whatever the hell you want. I don't fucking care anymore._ -


	6. Sleep on it

They end up eating three deers.

Shudder barely utters a word as they do so and when they are done, they stay strangely quiet and leave most of their body's control to Dora as she goes back to the building to dispose of the research datas left. Surely, there must be backups somewhere and even backups' backups, but there is only so much she can do, the firefighters and the FBI are already swarming the place and she feels tired anyway.

While still invisible, they jump on top of a truck going in the general direction of Dora's house before running through the streets until they reach her neighborhood.

The streets are almost empty save for a few homeless people and late night workers. Dora is too tired to do anything but take the backseat as Shudder drives them, checking her mind every so often to make sure they are in the right direction. As they run, Dora thinks about the coyotes you can sometimes spot running in the empty streets in the middle of the night, hunting rats. How free they seem as they run through the city.

Tonight though, there is a bigger beast roaming the streets: And it's her.

...

Once she is close enough to the building, Shudder retracts, leaving Dora alone on the sidewalk, still dressed in an lab coat, covered in sweat and some blue substance she identifies as symbiote blood. She looks every bit the mad scientist.

"I can't go home like that ! Mom is going to call the police before she realizes it's me !"

- _Take those off then._ -

"I can't exactly walk around in my underwear, I mean, I know San Fransisco has some sort of a reputation when it comes to that but..."

- _I'll be your clothes._ -

And they do. As soon as they speak, they materialize around Dora's body, following her shape. She ends up dressed in some sort of flowy dark blue dress. Dora blinks then takes off her blouse, keeping it rolled in one hand. She immediately starts shivering:

"It's a little too cold for that kind of outfit."

Shudder's appearances changes, a warm black coat appearing on top of her dress. She also takes off her shoes and they change for a pair of inconspicuous flat shoes :

"I guess that works too ? Thanks ?"

Shudder doesn't reply.

The implication that she is at the moment wearing sentient clothes should probably bother Dora more, but at this point, she is too tired to care so she just climbs the two flights of stairs to her apartment without thinking.

It's only once she is at the door that the scientist realizes her keys are still in her locker at the Life Foundation, along with her purse and a change of clothes. She should have thought about that, now the police must be in possession of all of this... Well, she can always pretend she ran away along with the others after the alarm had been activated. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

As she thinks about it, Shudder picks the lock, changing the shape of one of their tentacle to match the shape of the key and they enter without a sound.

The apartment is quiet and peaceful after the rush of the last few hours. The warm orange glow of the streetlights outside pours through the curtains, gently caressing the wooden floor. On the sofa, Dora can see the shape of her mom, sleeping soundly. She smiles: It's so good to be home.

Before going to bed, she takes a peek in her children's bedroom. The gentle sound of their breathings warms her heart.

Then Dora finally collapses on her own bed. She is exhausted.

She spares one glance at the clock before she falls asleep: It's 4 am.

…

"Mooom !" Dora opens one eye, her heard hurts like hell and she is tired beyond words.

"What Dylou ?"

"Breakfast ! Nana's making pancakes !"

"I think I'll pass..."

"You're not eating NANA'S PANCAKES ?! Are you sick ?!"

"Good morning to you too Zoe..."

"Leave your mom alone you two, she came home late last night, she's very tired !" Dora hears from the kitchen.

"It's ok mom, I'll join you for breakfast. The pancakes might actually do me some good, last night was... Tiring."

"Yeah, they said something about Life Foundation blowing up on the news this morning. I was worried you know, especially since you came back so late. I mean, I know you were working the night shift but usually you come back around 2 or something... So I checked your room, but you were just snoring loudly so I guess it wasn't that bad."

"I don't snore !" Dora objects.

"Yes you do, it's soooo loud !" Zoe jokes in return.

"You cheeky monkey ! Anyway, it's alright, no biggie, something went wrong and exploded but it wasn't in my building. Well we did have to evacuate and many people panicked so it wasn't a ride in the park either but, you know, could have been worse."

"What happened ?"

"I don't know Dylou, I think they tried to launch a rocket and it didn't work out."

"Did people die ?"

"I... I don't think so... I mean, I was in a completely different building so I don't know... What did you eat yesterday with Nana ?"

"Nana made blintzes for dessert last night ! It was delicious !"

The conversation derails as Zoe tells embarrassing stories about how Dylan didn't close his properly and dropped cream cheese everywhere while Dylan swears it's a lie before Nancy embarrass them both by revealing they both didn't fold their blintzes well and she had to clean their mess.

They chat happily over breakfast. The living room is pleasantly warm and smells like maple syrup and chocolate. Outside the sky is a gentle hue of blue and the sound of everyone's voice and laughter is soothing. Dora sights happily. She is still bone deep tired and contemplates the idea of drinking a cup of coffee to stay awake but ultimately decides against it, she'll sleep while the children are at school.

Soon, it's time for the kids to take their shower and leave. While they are in the shower, Nancy's smile falter, her expression turning serious and focused :

"Love, is everything ok ?" She asks: "Because, I didn't tell the kids but the explosion wasn't the only thing they showed on TV... You know this guy ? Eddie Brock ? He had this show that was quite popular until a few months ago. Apparently he filmed some human experimentation in there..."

"You shouldn't believe everything they say on TV mom, we've been over this."

"Still..."

"Can you take the kids to school today ?" Dora asks, changing the subject.

"Of course love. Will you pick them up tonight ?"

"Yeah no problem. I don't think I'll go to work anyway, the building isn't structurally sound. I'll check my emails just in case but yeah. And thanks for keeping an eye on the kids last night."

"Don't worry about it. That's what moms are for aren't they ?"

"Isn't that a little reductive ?"

"Dylan, Zoe, hurry up in there, your mom is starting to discuss gender roles with me, it's about time we leave !"

Dora kisses her kids and mom as they leave before checking her phone: Indeed, she has received an email explaining that they are all off duty for security reasons. So she goes back to sleep for a few more hours.

When she wakes up, a little bit more alive than this morning, she is once more greeted by a voice, in here head this time:

- _You are well rested._ -


	7. Shudder in the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I use "scripture" as a verb a lot in this fic, and here is the first occurence of that !  
> Don't worry I know it's not a verb, I used it that way on purpose. ^^

As their host is asleep, Shudder starts exploring. They already had of course, but at that time they had only been focused on how to make things work the way they wanted them to without actually damaging the body or mind. But now that they have a bit more time, they can explore for the sake of exploring. And scripture.

Their host's brain is full of images, messages and informations: Some of them easier to access than others. Shudder starts by looking for informations on Dora's perception of self. They find interesting things, mostly that human identities are extremely complex. Different words with different meanings and definitions are thrown the Klyntar's way.

Among them, the most confusing for Shudder is "woman" and trying to decipher the meaning of the word only further the alien's confusion. This seems like a tribal identifier of some sorts, but the exact conditions to be part of said tribe are incredibly difficult to determine precisely apart from it's apparent opposition to the tribe called "men", which is also hard to define.

They should probably try to get a proper explanation from Dora herself.

Shudder is at this point in their reflexion when they hear some noise outside: someone is about to enter their room... The alien makes Dora's eyes open slightly, just enough to be able to see yet ensure that the darkness and her long eyelashes will cover her eyes from the intruder. The host is still asleep, but that way Shudder can use her sight freely and access her memories depending on what they see. The door cracks open, on the other side is another human. Dora's genitor. Shudder wonders for a second if they should attack but the presence doesn't register as a threat in their host's brain.

Dora's mother merely observes her daughter's shape and listen to her breathing a few seconds before returning to the living room, presumably to sleep some more.

Shudder closes their host's eyes and try to focus back on the task at hand of understanding an alien culture, and recording it.

A thrill runs through them, as they manifest a small part of themselves outside of their host and start scripturing their findings, their shape changing into complex and moving fractals. They can't even remember the last time they were able to scripture freely without having to worry about being found out by one of their superiors.

It is unsure wether those scriptures will ever be transmitted however, and at that Shudder's enthusiasm falters a bit, bittersweet memories resurfacing.

…

When they swim into the room, the young Klyntar is already here, gathered into a corner, shaking. They look at it, so small, hostless, and hurt ; and it takes them a lot of self control not to let their sympathy show on their host's body.

"What happened ?" They ask, but they already know the answer, it was only a matter of time after all.

"Scripture to me again." Is their reply.

"Which one ?"

"You know the one."

"Scripturing is a one time process you know, you don't actually need me to do it every time, you can access the memories yourself or just scripture on you own, it works just as well."

But the other Klyntar remains obstinately silent.

They sight. Part of their form emerges from their host, shaping itself into lines, forming an intricate geometrical design. The other Klyntar shapes themselves to connect to it.

As soon as they do the atmosphere around them changes completely, it's bright and clear and full of the gentle scents of alien flowers and plants. On a bench seats Txetlu, their long mane of thin tendrils falling on the ground behind them as their four hands glide on the strings formed byTëëtslid, their other, iridescent in the pale light. And together, they sing, their voices mingling into one. They sing the Ordelad. They sing about the endless sky and the borderless sea, and how none of it was enough to separate them. They sing about the armies, and the killers, and how they all failed to tear them apart. They sing about time, and eternity, and how forever they should remain one for they were born one, only in two different places. And as they sing the Ordelad, love passes through their bound: raw love, unbidden joy, and pure happiness.

The young Klyntar drinks it all in before the images fade along with the feelings.

"Is it real ?" They ask: "Is any of this real ?"

"The scriptures are absolute. They are memories. Memories of the ones before us. Before _we_ became _Klyntar_."

"But this memory, what it shows, is it real or is it the memory of a story that never was ?"

"I have no way of knowing."

The young symbiote falls into silence:

"Conquest came back from the new colony with an host. An intelligent one, with their own thoughts... I... I tried to take it."

"And you failed. I can tell. It's no use anyway, Conquest is a brute, either they shut down their host's brain or the poor sod is traumatized. Either way, it will be an unpleasant experience. Been there, done that. Hosts from the colonies are no good."

"But..."

"How about I teach you a new scripture today ? The Dagsdilva, perhaps ? It's one of those sappy scriptures you love so much."

"They are not _sappy_!"

...

The clatter of several unidentified objects being used in the kitchen, quickly followed by footsteps and voices tear Shudder from their memories. They quickly retract into their host's body before the door opens and the booming voice of a small human wakes Dora up.

Shudder refrains from talking, staying in the back of her mind and observing how humans usually interact with each other in their natural environment. As they do so, Shudder notices that their host is happy when she is around her family ; and that when she is happy she produces pleasant chemicals.

Thanks to their observation the symbiote starts to understand their host's attachment to her spawn. First, they have to admit they are quite entertaining. They are always doing _something_ , and the partial understanding of the world that surrounds them makes it so their actions or words are often at odds with what seems to be expected. Which results in an incredible physical reaction from Dora:

Her whole body spasms, loud sounds erupt from her throat and her face contort itself weirdly while her brain is being flooded with endorphins.

 _Laughter_ is the word Shudder finds to describe that strange reaction to being surprised when they check Dora's memories.

Despite the refreshing feeling (coupled with the ingestion of several things that definitely don't qualify as food on most planet but seems to put humans in a nice mood) Dora is still extremely tired. Three hours of rest is far from enough for her human self after the exhausting events of last night. She needs two more, at the very least.

When Dora awakes again, this time, Shudder make their presence known. The response they get is not exactly pleasant. Their host's body tenses as if facing a threat when they hear Shudder say:

- _You are well rested._ -

…

With everything that had happened and her being home again and all, Dora had almost forgotten about the symbiote's presence in her head and body. For a few minutes this morning, surrounded by the warmth of her family and the sweet scent of pancakes, she had sincerely thought it had all been a bad dream. But as she looks around, startled by the symbiote's voice, she sees the blue stained blouse rolled in the corner of her room and the reality of what happened last night catches up with her.

When they had first saw the small slimey shapes through the camera the crew had on board, Dora had actually cried. Real tears. They had found alien life: this was the biggest discovery in the history of humanity and she had witnessed it, contributed to it. There were no words for the joy she had felt at that time.

Then all of it had been buried under jargon and deadlines and though there had been some moments of wonder, she didn't have the time to process the emotions she felt before it all went horribly wrong.

But now that she isn't about to die anymore, she is faced with this big and very hard to ignore change in her life that she knows close to nothing about... And curiosity takes over.

"What about you, are you well rested ?" She asks, unsure.

 _-I do not need to rest as long as you when I am well fed and uninjured.-_ Is the symbiote's response.

"Ok, so what did you do while I was sleeping ?"

_-Research. Your body is not perfectly compatible but it will do now that I understand it a little better. I can adapt. As for your mind, at least I some have access to it, which is an improvement compared to the other hosts. You seem less averse to having another living being sharing your body than the hosts I've had until now.-_

"Well, it might have to do with the fact that I had another being living inside my body for nine months. Twice."

- _How come...-_ The cold feeling again: _-Oh, spawning. You bear your spawn until viable development. I see.-_

"I am guessing you're more like oviparous ? Do you lay eggs ? No, that wouldn't make sense. Do you reproduce by mitosis ?" There are so many questions in Dora's brain she doesn't even know where to start.

- _Yes. But this is of no importance at the moment. I've been thinking, Dora. Riot and Carrion are dead, Venom is singing the Ordelad with their host... That leaves me here, thousands of miles away from Klyntar without any supervisor... Free._

_At long last. -_

"What do you mean by free ?"

Shudder is about to reply when the landline phone rings. Dora hurries up to answer it, on the other side, a policeman's voice informs her that her belongings have been found.


	8. A study in blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More !  
> Dialog !! \o/

The days that follow are a blur of interrogations by the police, the FBI, the CIA, and some sort of suspicious organization that seems to be neither. At one point Dora fears that they already know about her "death", or about the symbiotes in general. But she did dispose of as many datas as she could, and apparently wasn't the only one to do so. All the scientists within the company that were aware of the experiments keep their mouth shut, and she does the same. The only informations she gives are incredibly vague explanations of what they were doing, full of jargon that is probably indecipherable for any of the law enforcers.

Brock's videos are mentioned in passing manner, but here is the thing: As justifiably outraged as the public may be, according to the law, none of it was illegal. It was no different than testing a new medicine, and the patients knew the risks, or so they thought. It wasn't Dora's problem anyway, she had just been an executant, despite her involvement, this had more to do with the now dead CEO and other higher ups. Dora knows that, apart from her job, she won't loose anything. The Life Foundation hires as many lawyers as they hire scientists, and they hire _many_ scientists.

The scientist also gets a few calls from journalists here and there, but she ignores them all. She even allows herself a break from work. Living off her savings, before starting to look for a job. After the last 6 months, she feels like she deserves it.

She had been so busy and stressed that she had barely spent anytime with her family, and when she had, she had been gnawed by guilt. Thinking about those people who would never see their own families again.

She feels a little better about that now. She still has nightmares, sometimes, and sets a monthly donation to several homeless shelters in San Francisco... As if it could ever atone for several human lives. But her conscience is not as cruel to her as it used to be.

She stopped it, in the end, helped put an end to Drake's viciousness.

So now Dora spends a lot of time with her kids. She takes them to school and picks them up everyday, they play videos games and watch movies together. She takes them to the park or the sea-side and she just enjoys their laughter and company.

In a few more weeks, she'll probably want nothing more than to talk to adults again, but at the moment, their energy and innocence is soothing.

As for the Shudder Situation, the symbiote is surprisingly quiet. Somedays it feels like they are not even here. But then, in the middle of the night, Dora wakes up to go to the bathroom and there is a small blue protuberance coming from her arm shaping itself in complex and moving geometrical structures. And the human suddenly remembers she isn't quite _human_ anymore.

But for some reason, Shudder doesn't seem to want to talk to her.

They are almost 3 weeks in when Dora finally understands what's happening here: Shudder is studying her behavior and environment, just as Dora herself did when the symbiotes were under her care.

"So... You're a scientist on your planet ?" She asks one day. The kids are at school, her mom has no plans to come by, and she has done enough job hunting for today: Now is the best time to have a serious conversation with the hitchhiker in her own body. She expects some sort of reluctance after the long silence and how strange their last conversation had been. But the symbiote defies her expectations by being on the contrary quite forward:

- _I_ was _a scientist, yes._ -

"What kind ? Biologist ? Physicist ? Social sciences ?"

_-A biologist. I researched and taught alien anatomy and biology... I was also a scholar.-_

"I get the feeling there is some important nuance that is getting lost in translation. Could you clarify what you mean by "scholar" ?"

Dora's shoulders square, her heartbeat elevates, and her stomach tightens but Shudder stays obstinately silent while their stress bleeds into their host.

"Not telling... Alright. So what did you learn during your weeks of observation ?"

"- _Many things. Few that I can properly makes sense of without more research, or a complete access to your brain and memories. But I'm getting there. Your society is strikingly similar to pre-klyntarian societies: Complex social interactions, gregarious behavior, and extremely developed imagination as basis for daily life functioning. But from what I know you also seem to differ in many ways. I'm starting to understand why you got so offended at the idea of your spawn dying. Taking care of them is way more taxing than it is for Klyntar. You have to either watch over them or have someone watch over them at all times until full development ; I wouldn't like to go through the whole process more than necessary either. Although they do provide entertainment and elicit interesting reactions such as laughter._ -"

"Ok... I have _many_ questions. I mean, I had some before, but now I have new ones."

- _What a surprise._ -

"You plan on having full access to my brain ? You don't ? If you didn't how could you do any of the things we did back at Life ? I thought Klyntar was the name of your home planet so what do you mean by "pre-klyntarian societies" ? You guys don't watch over your off-springs ? Then how come you were a teacher ? Also since you supposedly have no innate gregarious behavior does that mean you are incapable of experiencing any form of love ? Is that why you don't understand why I'm scared of loosing my kids ?"

- _I have access to the parts of your brain that control your body, and I'm getting better at gaining access to the rest: Memories, feelings, thoughts, concepts. Those still evade me unless I actively look for them. I'm getting better at finding them though._ -

"Yeah, I remember the "cold" feeling I used to get whenever you were looking for something in here. It stopped."

- _Indeed. As for Klyntar, it is the name of both my home planet and it's inhabitants._ -

"Oh. I had no idea your specie already had a name. But it makes sense, I mean, you **are** self-aware after all..."

- _It is not the name of our specie however. Klyntar is just the name of those of us who were born on the planet Klyntar. The original name of our specie is... Unsure..._ -

"What do you mean ? Oh... "Pre-Klyntarian" you said. You don't _come_ from Klyntar do you ? I mean, not individually but as a specie."

_-Indeed. You are worthy of your title Doctor Skirth... The actual name we used to give ourself has been lost. A few names were given to us but...-_

"But it's one of those things you don't want to talk about, alright. What about not raising your off-spring and how that works with the very concept of teaching ?"

_-Well there is no need to carefully protect our spawn like humans do. Klyntar know everything they need to survive once they are born, the rest they can learn without our help. However new discoveries do need to be shared on a wide scale for practical reasons, especially regarding newly conquered colonies. As for love, we are perfectly capable of experiencing it. Though, considering what you link it to, we might be using the same word for widely different concepts.-_

"So you don't raise your kids but you teach them, and supposedly have no innate gregarious behavior but are still part of a society of sorts... Fascinating." Dora takes out her phone and starts typing, Shudder is more forthcoming than she had expected, but she has no idea how long it will last so she'd better record it. Life Foundation or not, this is too important to be left to her memory alone. Shudder watches her do so for a few seconds before they say:

- _Humans surround themselves with scriptures.-_ There is a lump in Dora's throat, and the human understands that Shudder is once again brushing up a topic they'd rather avoid: _-On Klyntar those are frowned upon. The lesser forms at least. Absolute scripture is downright forbidden._ -

""Absolute scripture" ?" Dora repeats without understanding.

- _You cannot use it, therefore there is no need for you to understand what it means.-_

"Judging by my elevated heartbeat, I'd say it's pretty important."

- _You're adapting to me as well it would seem. You're are starting to pick on things I'm trying to conceal. It's good. Annoying as it may be.-_

"What is "absolute scripture" Shudder ?"

- _What is a "woman" ?_ -

"I'm sorry what ?"

- _If a "woman" is defined entirely by their capacity to bear spawn, and girls are apparently women that cannot yet bear spawn, why are the words "girl" and "woman" interchanged freely so often ? And what about women that are not able to bear spawn anymore, why are they still called women and not something else ?-_

"Womanhood is definitely _not_ defined by the possibility of bearing children ! I mean, it is for bigots but..."

_-Does it have to do with a body type then ? Specific forms of gonads ?-_

"No... Not really. I mean, again, if you ask bigots, probably, but as a scientist I can guaranty you this is way more complicated than that."

_-Then what **is** a woman ?-_

"You... Have no concept of gender on your planet ?"

_-Obviously not.-_

"You know what ? Good, let's keep it that way for now. Just keep in mind I'm a cis woman, which means that society has viewed me as a woman since birth, and that being a woman, cis or not, actually especially not cis, puts people pretty low in the hierarchy of this society."

- _...You called me a woman, several times, which means you assumed we had the same status. Why ?_ -

"You use my own voice to talk to me, right ? This type of voice is usually associated to women. You are woman presenting, if that makes sense. Does that bother you ?"

- _Is having the same status as you a requirement for our symbiosis to function ?_ -

"No, not really."

- _I don't mind "being a woman". But I'd rather not take part in a custom I understand so little._ -

"Sure. I'll be more careful from now on... And don't think I didn't notice the change of topic. Don't worry though, I have another question for you: What are Textlu and Teetslid ? You said something about it when you talked to Venom."

- _I was hoping you had forgotten that._ _Txetlu and Tëëtslid are characters from pre-klyntarian scriptures. Together they form "Tüüsdel", the Whole Being: Perfect and total symbiosis.-_

"So... Venom literally found h... Their other half ?"

_-That is one way to put it.-_

"Shouldn't you be happy for them ?"

_-Iwas not spawn yesterday Dora. I don't believe it for one second. That idiot just wants to sing the Ordelad so badly they would kill themselves for the first compatible host they find.-_

"Sing the what now ?"

_-They want to love and be loved in return. They always had thing for sappy scriptures. Now can we reschedule this conversation ? I'm hungry. We need to hunt.-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah world-building ! \o/  
> (Don't worry, the next chapter is easier to digest. XD)


	9. A proper hunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW mention of past rape 
> 
> Dora is a rape survivor.  
> It is talked about in this chapter and she has a flashback.  
> The content of the flashback is not described but her feelings regarding it are and it can be triggering in itself.

In the end, they don't go hunting immediately, nor do they go the very same night and Shudder doesn't complain. They've seen enough of this world to understand that human society, though it is useful in many ways, has made it difficult for most people to leave their home for a few hours in order to hunt.

First, most human food is already killed and prepared to fit the human digestive system and satisfy their tastebuds, so it is odd for a human to try and catch their own food in the rawest state possible ; unless it is in order to sell it. Apparently they could buy living beings, but even then, not all are acceptable to eat: Fish and crustaceans are ok, birds and herbivores are classified on a complex scale of edibility, and carnivorous mammals are not to be eaten under any circumstances in the territory known as San Francisco. And that's without taking Dora's own cultural food restrictions into account.

And then there is the matter of Dora's spawn. They are too young to be left unsupervised. As Shudder noticed pretty early on, human spawns have a tendency to try to hurt themselves in any way possible when left to their own volition.

_-This is exhausting !-_ They had complained: _-When is their understanding of the world around them finally good enough for them not to end up dead or badly injured if you take their eyes off them for 3 seconds ?!-_

_I_ _**would** _ _say 11 or 13, but at that exact same age they start learning about what adults do that could also get them killed so... Never ? The only thing you can do is to start giving them some leeway around that age and hope you've raised them well enough to avoid a catastrophe..._

_-You've got to be KIDDING.-_

Therefore, the hunt requires some planning. Three days after Shudder manifested their hunger, Nancy comes home to take care of the kids, Dora lies through her teeth, something about a dinner with a friend at a high class restaurant, and finally they are both outside in the street in the dead of night.

At that point Shudder is practically vibrating with tension. Dora feels it just like she's started to feel their hunger. A different sort of hunger over her own, sated by nothing the human could eat, except maybe by chocolate, but even that would only last an hour or two.

They take the bus to the Presidio park, not wanting to attract too much attention. Their plan is to hunt in the Marin Headlands. Getting this close to the remain of Life Foundation doesn't seat quite right in Dora's guts, but the national park, with it's huge forest, is the best place to hunt undisturbed.

_-Take of your clothes.-_ Shudder says once they are close to the parks gate. It is not a request.

"What ? No ?! What the hell ?"

- _That uncomfortable dress is in no way appropriate for a hunt and I don't want to deal with it._ -

It is true that Dora is overdressed for this type of activity. In order for the lie she had told her mother to be believable, she had put on one of her most expensive dress. She looks amazing in it, but it definitely wasn't designed to run after deers. That said, neither were most of Dora's clothes:

"The blouse didn't bother you at all back then !"

- _It was a way more practical outfit, my life was at stake, and I had just eaten two adult humans. Those were entirely different circumstances and I had a lot of energy to spare.-_

"Well you'll have to spare some more because I am not undressing." Various emotions accompany that statement, the strongest one being embarrassment. Adult humans are not supposed to be in the presence of others without clothes outside of very specific circumstances. However this makes no sense to the symbiote:

- _Dora this is ridiculous I live INSIDE the body you are trying to hide from me.-_

"I know you do but there is a difference between living in it and seeing it or touching it !"

- _I also see your body everyday, Dora. I see through your sight, in case it wasn't obvious, and we also share your other senses, therefore I touch your body as much as you do, which would be every time you clean yourself._ -

Suddenly Dora's brain chemistry goes horribly wrong. It happens so fast Shudder barely has the time to register it, but their host's body reacts in such a strong way they cannot possibly ignore it. Their breathing gets impossibly swallow, their whole body tenses down to muscles that are almost never put to use.

Shudder tries to understand what just happened but the only thing they get from their host's brain are panicked signal of hands ? It feels like hands are touching her ? Them, it feels like hands are touching them. But it makes no sense because there is no other humans around and those are human hands. Everything about it feels bad, unwanted, Dora's whole being recoils under the foreign touch that doesn't even exist.

- _What is happening ?!_ -

That gets Shudder's host talking, well, not exactly: her mouth opens but no sounds leaves it, save for an high pitched whimper. But inside, a wave of terror and words swallows Shudder whole:

_nopleasestopitpleasestopitnoimbeggingyoupleasesomebodyhelpmesomebodymakeitstoppleaseno_

The fear, the pain, and the disgust of it all is too much for Shudder to bear: they leave Dora's brain entirely. They gather their whole self somewhere into her stomach and stay there, tight as a closed fist, unmoving for a few seconds.

It takes a whole minute for Dora's breathing to come out again in a somewhat normal fashion.

Several for her muscles to start unclenching.

That's when Shudder decides to reconnect with their host's brain. Her mind seems somewhat clearer.

- _What... What just happened ? That was horrible !_ -

"...I'm sorry... It's not your fault... You don't... Know."

- _Don't know what ?_ -

But then Shudder sees it, clear as day in their host's mind. On Klyntar, touching is nothing but another way of communication. Touch, of course, can be a dangerous thing, it can mean you're about to get eaten. But most of the time, it is just a way between hostless Klyntar to exchange informations, be it with or without scripturing. It holds no meaning in itself.

Humans, however, are very different. Different in ways Shudder hadn't envisioned until that point.

To them touch is coupled with intimacy, and intimacy is a staggeringly complex concept linked to and influenced by so many other concepts, thoughts and ideas that Shudder feels overwhelmed in the face of so much new information.

But one thing is constant, unwanted touch is a terrible thing that leaves the mind scarred in ways the Klyntar had no idea of.

"You triggered a flashback." Dora explains: "It's..." She takes a deep breath: "You reminded me of something painful and my body and brain reacted as if it was happening to me again."

- _ **I**_ _did that ?! But how ?!-_ But as they say it, they put two and two together:

Unwanted touch.

Shudder had basically told their host that they had touched her many times without her knowing or wanting to and that had reminded her of something Shudder wishes they will never have to deal with again.

It occurs to the scholar then that it's a miracle Dora would still want them after they had opened such a wound, even by accident. In all logic they should have found her mind entirely closed off.

They made a mistake in the way they handled their host, a big mistake.

On Klyntar, supposing they had even acknowledged the mistake, they would have either hid it or never addressed it again. But this is not Klyntar, and Shudder has seen humans spawn make enough mistakes to know how humans except others to react when they make one. So they materialize their head in front of their host, look at her in the eyes and say:

" _-I'm sorry.-_ "

Dora, looks as surprised as she feels relieved.

"It's alright Shudder. I just. It's just... I hadn't thought about it until now. You're right there is no point in covering myself... You've even been my clothes once I..."

"- _Dora. It's ok._ _I will deal with the dress. I just won't go chasing deers right away, I'll start with something easier to catch.-"_

"Maybe we can compromise."

And that's how Dora ends up in her underwear in the middle of a deserted park as Shudder covers her, rationalizing that this is no different form wearing a swimsuit.

The park extends for miles, and there is not a single soul in sight, just miles and miles of green grass and occasional trees and buildings, all shrouded in darkness and silence except for the occasional sounds of the local wildlife. But Shudder ignores them entirely, focusing on the water in front of them and the land on the other side.

They cross the park in a matter of minutes, but when they arrive at the water they hesitate:

"Let's swim !" Dora urges: "It's been so long since I last went !"

They jump into the dark water, swimming easily with their tail. Ignoring the current and diving deep. Dora immediately notices three things: She doesn't feel the cold, she can see, and she can _breath_. The thought makes her giddy, but soon her excitement turns sour: Drake might actually have been right about symbiotes being the future of humankind, and she doesn't know how she feels about that.

While she is caught in her own thoughts, Shudder chases and catches a reckless fish. They eat it whole in two bites their hunger receding a little.

When they emerge again the dark forest dimly lit by the moonlight surrounds them. But it isn't as ominous to Dora as it had once been. Though the place evokes paradoxical memories of deadly fairy tales forests and nice hikes and camping trips with her family ; to Shudder, this is nothing but a good place for a hunt.

And hunting they do.

Just like last time, they kill and eat three deers, the whole family. Shudder in nothing but efficient and clean. They don't leave a single trace of their preys behind, except maybe a bit of blood.

Once full they go back the same way they came.

They both feel relaxed.

"So..." Dora asks aloud, certain that there is no one else around to hear her: "Is this going to be my... I mean our life from now on ? Hunting deers every month or so for sustenance ?"

- _Would you rather I ate your organs Dora ?_ -

"I am not complaining, just trying to organize."

- _Well, I could feed only once every two month or even less, but that would require a very different diet._ -

"What do you mean ?"

- _Humans. If I could eat humans, I'd have to eat way less._ -

"Deers it is then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's all fun and game until somebody triggers a panic attack. @v@'


	10. Monster in the closet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Insert coming out joke about the title here]

Weeks go by.

Months.

Two months actually.

Halloween comes and goes and thanksgiving is right around the corner.

Dora starts seriously looking for a job again and she gets one, at Stark Industries. You would have thought working for a mad scientist once would have taught her a lesson... But the thing is, she still has to get her kids to college, and life in San Francisco is expensive beyond words. So when she spots an employment add for a company a little less shady than the others, she applies.

She likes her job. It's nowhere near as exciting as trying to find hosts for alien life forms, but it also has less risks of turning into human experimentation with deadly results. "Less" not meaning "none". The Stark family didn't build its fortune by selling clean energies after all. And anyway, Life Foundation was originally supposed to help people and see where it got them...

No matter, if Dora _wants_ excitement, there is always her nights out with her symbiote.

In order for the decrease in the deer population not to be too noticeable, Dora has restricted Shudder's consumption to one deer per outing. That means her chocolate and raw fish intake has drastically increased, but that's a small price to pay. She'd rather not think about the alternative...

And anyway, she likes hunting with Shudder. It's freeing.

She used to feel like she was inside of rubbery astronaut suit when she was inside the symbiote's humanoid form. But now, when they watch over the bay from the very top of the Golden Bridge she can feel the night wind on her face, full with so many fragrances. And when their tail move, it feels familiar, has if she were stretching a leg, only different. Sometimes, she misses the tail, even when she is not surrounded by Shudder anymore, it feels like it is still here.

She likes the height, how they are alone at the top, with no one to bother them. She also like the sea, deep, full of life that she can observe without ever having to worry about light or air. She even likes the forest, and the hunt itself, how it satisfies their conjoined hunger.

Shudder likes all of it too.

Sometimes, they don't even jump on a truck to get back, they just run all the way from the Marin Inlands woods to their apartment. When they do that, Dora remember their first run together, how monstrous yet amazing she had felt, and Shudder seems to remember it with her. That's when they get in that nice little headspace they sometimes get into: where it's just them and everything else seems irrelevant.

Shudder and Dora also talk a lot.

Well, talk. More like, Dora tries to get informations on Klyntar and Shudder deflects most of her questions by asking other questions on human culture: Even though they've had access to wikipedia for weeks. They spend most of their nights reading articles on the website while Dora is asleep.

Every questions regarding Klyntar's biology, Shudder is more than happy to answer. Klyntar's politics is also mostly ok... But as soon as Dora mentions culture or history, she gets shut out entirely.

"So you said you were high in the Klyntar's hierarchy ?"

_-Yes. Not that it is any sort of difficult: Be strong ; be old, but not too old ; and if you can be smart too it's a plus. The problem is to stay there.-_

"What do you mean ?"

_-You've seen it as well as me Dora, how Riot almost tore Venom from their host in order to eat it. Hosts, on Klyntar, are a luxury and very few have access to them. Yet everyone wants them. They are a symbol of status. Of power. And Klyntar will fight with everything they've got to get one and keep it as long as they can maintain it. Our specie is also not above cannibalism. Unless you're a scientist: Then the power that be will make sure no one bothers you nor your host. You are too precious to be involved in petty fights.-_

"Hence, you."

_-Hence me.-_

"But who is the power that be ? And how do they stay in place if everyone is constantly fighting for power and status by... Devouring each other ?"

- _Well, as I said, being smart is a plus. Smart old Klyntar surround themselves with stupid young Klyntar and provide them with a constant supply of fresh hosts from either Klyntar itself or the colonies. Smart old Klyntar keep the hosts reproduction rate low, or downright kill some hosts just to make sure the supply stays way below the demand. That way, they can keep manipulating their little armies and stay in power while the rest of Klyntar fight on an almost daily basis. And then,_ _ **smart old Klyntar**_ _make long speeches about how this is all dictated by the laws of nature. That it is_ _ **natural**_ _for the strong to eat the weak, and for Klyntar to be violent. And they swear to your face that_ _ **all of this fucking joke**_ _is how our specie_ _ **naturally**_ _functions, even though you know for a fact, as a biologist,_ _ **as a scholar**_ _that_ _ **THIS. IS. NOT. TRUE.**_ -

"Wow. O... Ok, how did that happen ?"

- _How did the USA happen ? How did countries happen ? How did human societies happen ?_ -

"Well there are many possible answers to that... Wait a minute. Stop deflecting ! And also if that's how you are all raised, what about Venom or the Ordelad ?"

And that's where the conversation usually ends.

But all in all they make it work. They even manage to keep Shudder's existence a secret from the kids. It's not that hard, really, most of the time Shudder's keeping to themselves anyway.

Until they don't.

…

Dora lays asleep after a long day of work and a long evening of taking care of her kids. She sleeps soundly. Her chest is rising and falling in a slow and gentle rhythm and her brain's activity is slowing down as she enters deep sleep. Soon, she will start dreaming and the organ will become a bit more chaotic, but for now Shudder enjoys the peaceful silence as they scroll through Wikipedia articles. The one that caught their attention tonight is about the concept of endangered species.

They are halfway through the article when they hear a voice call from the other room:

"Mommy ?"

Dora doesn't react. She is out cold. Today was exhausting, and tomorrow promises to be even more so.

The scientist doesn't do overtime as she used to do at the Life Foundation anymore. She refuses it completely. However it doesn't mean she sleeps early or well. Most of the time, she watches series or read books in her bed until late at night.

Sometimes, she wakes up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, her body chemistry unbalanced, and oozing fear by every pore of her skin. Shudder did the mistake of trying to find out why once. They had not expected how vivid the emotions and images would be. The "nightmare" as they had learned it was called later, a terrifying mix of painful memories and frightening delusions, was an experience Shudder did not wish to reiterate.

"Mommy ?"The voice calls again.

Shudder hesitates. They **could** wake their host, it is about her spawn after all. But she needs rest... Then again, it might be important. Zoe is a pretty heavy sleeper. For her to call for her mother in the middle of the night is unusual...

Shudder is still pondering wether they should wake Dora or not when they hear the sound of a cover being moved and light footsteps down the hallway. They disappear back into their host's body, letting the phone fall on the mattress with a soft thump. Dora might desperately need sleep, but her spawn doesn't seem akin to give her any as she is slowly opening the bedroom door:

"Moooom." She calls once more, a soft whisper.

It's normal to whisper at that time of the day, Dora needs sleep more than anything, and this might be an emergency so Shudder takes the best course of action they can think of: They change Dora's brain activity slightly so she can remain asleep, and they answer, without facing the child.

" _-What is it Zoe ?-_ "

"There is a monster in my room." That gets Shudder's attention immediately:

" _-What does it look like ?-_ "

"It's big. Scary. With many teeth. It's hiding in the closet now. But I'm scared..." Zoe whimpers, clutching her octopus plush toy.

Shudder doesn't even think: In one swift motion they get up, grab the kid with one hand, and keep the other free, ready to use their claws if needs be. They would have changed for an appearance better suited for fighting but they don't want the child to scream. Whatever's hiding in the spawns' room might not yet be aware of the presence of another "monster".

" _-Is your brother still in there ?-_ " They ask.

"Yeah but..."

" _-Hush. Let's keep quiet. We can still get it by surprise. Just show me where you saw it last.-_ "

As they get into the children's room, Shudder's relieved to find Dylan alive and well, sleeping soundly. They put a hand on his neck, checking discretely for anything abnormal in the young human's body, but nothing seems amiss.

They then scan the room for any sign of a foreign presence but they hear no sound and see nothing. What should relax them only serves to make them more anxious: the beast could just be as good as they are at camouflaging.

They put Zoe on the ground behind them and start approaching the closet she is pointing at, slowly. Their claws are at the ready, their senses focused on the other side of the wooden panel as they slide it, ready to strike at any moment... But nothing happens.

" _-Nothing's here.-_ " They note aloud. They check other locations that could make good hiding spots: Under the bed, the ceiling, even the shelves and drawers, just in case it were a hostless Klyntar.

But there's nothing.

" _-It might have escaped by the window...-_ " They conclude. But they don't feel anymore relieved. This dwelling is mostly safe against humans, but is in no way near enough when it comes to facing extra-terrestrial threats of any kind. If the creature decided to attack once more, both kids would be dead by the time it would take Shudder to get to the end of the corridor, suited or not. Unless:

"- _You're sleeping with me tonight. Both of you.-_ " Shudder says as they gently take Dylan out of the bed, careful not to wake him.

Even in the dim light, Shudder can tell Dora's spawn is giving them a strange look. But she still agrees.

As Dora and her spawn are all comfortably installed in Dora's bed, Shudder thinks the crisis avoided. That is until Zoe asks them quietly:

"Who are you ?"

Shudder considers lying but gets the feeling Zoe would call her out on their lie. She has known Dora her whole short life after all...

"- _What do you mean ?_ -"

"Mom doesn't think monsters are real. So when I tell her there is one in our room she pretends to check and then tells me everything is ok and that monsters aren't real anyway. But you think monsters are real."

" _-Oh believe me Zoe, "monsters" are very real. I might have not believed it until recently but I sure do now.-_ "

"...Also, you sound different. And mom doesn't have claws. So who are you ? And where is mom ?" The child's voice is strange, as if she is still debating wether whatever she is facing is dangerous or not. The answer to both of these questions will certainly determine how friendly she will be from now on.

Shudder sighs:

"- _I am your mom, Zoe. Well at least I live in your mom's body. She is fine. She is just asleep. Your mom is very tired and she needs to rest. That's why I took over. Tomorrow, when you wake up, the mom you know will make you breakfast as usual._ -"

The explanation seems to satisfy the small human and she visibly relaxes, but one of her questions remains unanswered:

"Ok. So you live in mom's body... But _who_ are _you_?"

"- _I'm... Your other mom. The one that takes over when Dora is tired or scared, or when any of you is in danger. I'm here to protect you. That's why I have claws._ -"

"So you live in mom, but you're stronger and different... Like The Hulk ?"

"- _Yeah sure, like The Hulk_.-" Whatever The Hulk may be.

"I never had another mommy before."

" _-I'm a fairly new addition.-_ "

"My friends are gonna be so jealous ! They only have two parents, and I have three ! One mommy, one daddy and one other mommy !"

" _-Hush, quiet down. Zoe, you can't talk about me to your friends. I am very serious, if anyone knows about me, they could take me, and Dora, away._ -"

"But..."

"- _Promise me Zoe. Swear you won't tell anyone else._ -"

"...I swear."

_"-Good girl. Now sleep, you have school tomorrow.-"_

…

Dora is awoken by how hot she feels. Only to realize that she is now surrounded by two personal heaters in the form of her children.

Strange, how did they end up here ?

She checks her phone, her alarm clock is going to ring in five minutes anyway, there is no point in going back to sleep. Time to make breakfast.

Once the matzo brei is ready, she swallows two raw eggs for her symbiote and then goes wake the kids up. As he rouses from sleep, Dylan looks around him in utter confusion having apparently no idea about how he ended up in his mother's bed either. Zoe however, is more at ease. Though the way she looks at Dora makes her slightly uncomfortable:

"Good morning kids, want to tell me why you're in my bed ?" Zoe relaxes, her gaze less piercing:

"I had a nightmare so I asked if I could sleep in your bed and you said yes. Then Dylan started crying so you took him too."

"I didn't cry !"

"Yes you did ! You were all "Mommyyyyyy" like a baby !"

"Stop lying !"

"I'm not lying ! You just don't remember 'cause you were half asleep !"

"Kids, calm down ! It's alright, now. I don't remember much either I think I was very tired too."

It wouldn't be the first time Dora had taken care of her children while on autopilot in the middle of the night. Actually, this had been a common occurrence when she had started working at Life Foundation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like Zoe, you'll see more of her in the next chapter. ^^


	11. The spawn conundrum

"Mommy ?" The voice asks.

Once again Dora is asleep and Shudder is busy reading and scripturing their findings. This time they are reading an article about the American prison system. They ignore the spawn until they suddenly hear:

"Other Mommy ?" That takes Shudder out of their reading.

They barely have the time to pounder wether they should answer or not that the kid is in Dora's bedroom demanding attention:

"Other Mommy ?"

" _-What do you want Zoe ?-_ "

"I can't sleep."

" _-Yes you can, just close your eyes.-_ "

"Very funny." A beat. "Tell me a story ?"

" _-I fail to see how that would help you sleep.-_ "

"Pleeeeease."

"- _I don't know any stories you would find interesting_.-"

"Why do you live in mom's body ?"

"- _I can't live outside. The atmosphere... The air of your planet would kill me._ -"

"So you're like... An alien ?"

" _-Yes.-_ "

"Cool ! What's your planet like ?"

"- _Horrible._ -" Shudder replies honestly.

"Is that why you came here ? Because your planet is bad ? Like... The immigrants they talk about on TV ?"

"- _Well... Uh... Yes ? I mean: No ? I mean, not exactly ?_ -"

"I see. Can I sleep here tonight ?"

" _-I don't see why not.-_ "

The following morning Dora once again wakes up with Zoe in her bed. When questioned, the little girl simply replies she's had another nightmare. She doesn't look distressed though so Dora wonders about it. Zoe's bed is clean too so she didn't wet it either. Strange.

…

" _-Zoe you need to_ _ **sleep**_ _. And preferably in your own bed this time.-_ "

"I will. Once you've told me a story."

" _-Dora already told you both a story a few hours ago.-_ "

"I don't want a boring fairy tale ! Tell me about space !"

" _-HUSH you little... Why do you even care about space anyway ? It's not that interesting.-_ "

"How did you come to Earth ? Did you have a spaceship like in the movies ?"

"- _Of sorts... Calling it a spaceship might be much, we basically sent a hollow rock into space and entered a state of stasis._ -"

"What's "stasis" ?"

"- _A kind of deep sleep._ -"

"So you came from space into a rock but now you live in mom's body ? How did that happen ?"

They keep the charade going for a while, with Zoe waking up in the middle of the night to talk to "Other Mommy" for an hour or so before going back to bed. Sure, the young girl is a bit whiny in the morning but not enough to raise suspicion.

It turns out Zoe is not only very good at keeping a secret, but also a **spectacular** liar. Wether it's a good thing or not remains to be seen. But since Shudder hasn't been put into a canister and Dora in a cell, the alien is willing to overlook the dangerous possibility of such a gift.

Moreover, Shudder finds their exchanges with the small human interesting. Until now they had never been addressed personally by another human apart from Dora. Most of the time, they didn't mind, but this is a welcome change. Zoe isn't scared of Shudder: she is merely curious and sometimes a bit confused. But all in all she trusts the alien.

And it is such a new and amazing feeling for Shudder to be trusted by their host's spawn. To be trusted by one of the humans Dora cares about the most. It feels right. Like Dora meeting Shudder had been more than an accident which's results they are both trying to conceal.

They could tell Dora... Actually they probably should have told Dora the first time they had talked to Zoe, it is _her_ spawn after all. But for some reason they don't want to. They have the feeling the human wouldn't approve and it sparks confusing and painful emotions. So they keep the secret.

Of course, it couldn't last.

...

"I want to talk to Other Mommy too !!" Dylan cries one evening after school, big tears rolling down his cheeks: "Only Zoe gets to talk to her it's not fair !" The other child reacts immediately:

"SHUT UP !" She screams at the top of her lungs.

"What on Earth Zoe ?! Don't talk to your brother like that !"

"He is lying !"

"No I'm NOT !"

"SILENCE ! Both of you ! Now Zoe, go to your room, you're grounded. And Dylan, what IS going on ?" Dylan is sobbing loudly but still manages to talk between wet gasps:

"Zoe... Sniff... She's always talking to Other Mommy... Sob... At night... Sniff... But when I want to talk to her too... She says nooo..."

"Dylou, calm down, it's ok, hush... Who is "other mommy" Teddy Bear ?"

"I don't know, but Zoe talks to her at night. She said she comes from space and that we can't talk about her to anyone else. I want to talk about space too..."

Then it clicks.

Dora breathes in and out.

Slowly.

But Shudder can tell utter rage is boiling in her stomach.

"Zoe ! Come back here, we need to talk."

"I thought I was grounded."

"Yes and you still are but I want to know a few things about Other Mommy."

By the end of Zoe's explanation, Dora feels the beginning of a headache forming. And of course she is taking the kids to their Nana for the week-end.

"Ok kids we don't really have time for that so grab your bags and we'll discuss this again later and I don't want either of you to talk about "Other Mommy" to your friends or Nana, ok ?"

"Yes mom."

…

Once the children have been safely delivered, Dora manages to wait just long enough to reach the entrance of the apartment before her anger takes the best of her and she starts screaming at the top of her lung:

"WHAT THE HELL SHUDDER ?! Why are you talking to my kids at night like a frigging creep while I'm asleep ?!" At that Shudder show themselves, thinking it unfair to be yelled at if they cannot argue back in the same fashion. Not like they can scream, but at least, they can talk at voice level instead of whispering.

" _-I'm not acting like a creep ! I was trying to protect them ! Zoe said she had seen a monster in their room !-_ "

"She is A KID Shudder ! Kids are scared of things that aren't real, it's what they **do**!"

" _-Well how was I supposed to know that ?! And what if there had been another symbiote ?-_ "

"How were you supposed to know ?! Well you could have ASKED ME for a start !"

" _-And I didn't ! Wanna know why ? Because I knew this is how you were going to react ! Why are you treating me like a dirty secret Dora ! I want to talk to Zoe and Dylan too !-_ "

"We can't always get what we want ! What do you think would happen if they were to talk about you to their friends or their teachers ?! Telling a 7 years old a secret that could get us both killed, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING SHUDDER ?!"

"- _I know that ! I just... I just... I want to talk to_ our _spawn too._ -"

"They are not " _our_ spawn" ! **I** bore both of them for nine month, **I** raised them into the kids you know, and all of that **I** did it almost alone ! You just arrived a few months ago and you think you can say "our" ?!"

"- _You don't understand ! Your... Feelings, they are bleeding into me. I_ _ **know**_ _they are not my spawn, and even if they were I would never react that way !...I think ?... I...-_ "

Or is it really Dora's emotions ?

Everything comes crashing down in Shudder's mind.

Once, a very, very long time ago, before they had met Venom, before the smaller Klyntar had even been spawned, they had dreamed.

They had dreamed of a world outside Klyntar and it's colonies, where they could find their sister specie and live in peace with it. They had dreamed of societies full of scriptures and ideas beyond what Klyntar rulers called "instincts": complex thoughts exchanged between minds, so alike yet so different. And they would be part of it and their spawn would be part of it. And the world they had lost, the world that had been destroyed by Klyntars' madness would exist once more.

But then, the scholar who had taught Shudder this had even been a possibility, that there was more to life than eating or being eaten, had been caught scripturing.

But then, they had received countless specimens from the colonies to study, their brains and bodies altered beyond repairs.

But then, they had seen their hosts' offspring killed before their very eyes at a powerful Klyntar's fancy.

And all the while, somewhere in the back of their mind, they still had the memories of what their specie had once been. Txetlu and Tëëtslid ;libraries populated by bird like creatures ; temples full of praying beings joining their scripturing in giant geometrical structures aimed at the sky ; markets riddled with young and foolish lovers their tendrils, both theirs' and their others', lovingly intertwined.

"Symbiote" the humans had called them.

It was such a beautiful name.

Their host's chest is heaving and water is falling from her eyes, but inside she just seems utterly confused. _She_ is not crying. _Shudder_ is, their voice a broken sob when they say:

"- _We were so beautiful once._ -"

"Shudder," Dora replies calmly as she dries her eyes: "I think it's about time you **really** tell me about Klyntar."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, everything you ever wanted to know about Klyntar !


	12. A course in Klyntar history

Dora puts her phone on the living room table, the recording app open and running. She has a cup of coffee in her hands and let out a bowl of small dried fish for Shudder's benefit.

The human feels horrible: she is on the verge of tears, knots twisting in her guts and throat, and her hands are trembling slightly... Yet none of this is hers. She looks at these emotions, and her own body reaction to it, as if they were a foreign entity. Which they are. She doesn't get how the whole "emotion thing" works with the symbiote, but she can precisely tell which emotions are hers and which are the alien's.

"- _I thought I was satisfied with studying, because studying was all I had ever been allowed. Studying and surviving... But it's been months now._ -" They say.

And their voice is so very small, even compared to their usual whispering. Dora breathes in deep and exhales slowly. Given how overwhelmed the symbiote is, she needs to relax and stay level headed if she wants to finally understand what is going on with the resident alien:

"How about you start from the beginning ? You told me you were not from Klyntar. Where are you from ?"

"- _... I don't know. So much remains and yet, so much has been forgotten..._ -"

"It's ok. Take your time." She soothes.

"- _There was a planet once. Where we, the ones before us, the ones before Klyntar, lived. And we were beautiful. We had a sister specie. Our... Other half. Made for us as we were made for them. And we lived with them, we were part of them and they were part of us. The societies, the scriptures, the languages, the relationships, we shared everything. Everything was ours. Of course there was violence and pains and hardships, but there was so much more too... We used to have names, Dora. Names that didn't speak of fear and violence, names given by our others ! Yet so very few remain._ -"

Dora cannot see what Shudder sees when they look beyond her and into their memories, or their dreams, it is hard to tell. But she feels it: every bit of wonder, of longing, and of crushing sorrow.

"What happened ?"

"- _…Desolation happened_. _As I said, wars were not unknown to us and our others, and some of us were trained to fight, to kill. Those who were trained in such fashion, the warriors, would give themselves names. Names made to strike terror in the heart of their enemies, ideas of destruction and pain that could be translated in any of the many languages that existed on that faraway planet._ -"

"Warrior names." Dora sums up. And as she does she remembers asking Shudder why they had a warrior name if they didn't intend to fight...

"- _Desolation was a powerful warrior with many followers. From what I understand, but the scriptures are at best imprecise, they had an equally powerful host, but said host didn't share Desolation's thirst for power. So Desolation broke what was, at the time, the greatest taboo of all: They took control of their host.  
Of course, others, hosts and symbiotes alike, tried to stop them. But Desolation ate them, and realized as they did so that consuming the flesh of their host's kin made them powerful beyond what anyone at the time could have imagined. Desolation concluded that hosts were not our equals, that they were mere rides that should be treated as such. And they declared war against our sister specie.-_"

"...They won didn't they." Dora says quietly, realizing that what used to be unspeakable horrors were introduced to her as the very basis of Klyntar's society.

"- _They did. That planet, that was once so beautiful, turned into a living hell. There are scriptures from those times. The only thing that make them bearable is that they are mercifully short.-"_

"But... Didn't people fight back ? And, no matter how many followers Desolation had, how can it possibly be enough to win a war against an entire specie ?"

"- _At first, it was only Desolation and it's followers. But they used spawning as a weapon in itself, allowing their spawn to bound with animals so they could join their ranks. Then, many warriors from different countries followed. And when they started becoming more powerful, people that were not warriors joined them for different reasons: Vengeful symbiotes who had quarrels with their current or previous hosts, loving symbiotes who just wanted to protect their host and thought it was better to eat than to be eaten... And finally symbiotes who bought into Desolation's propaganda._ -" At that, Shudder's mood turns especially sour, the main emotion rising being shame and disgust.

"What do you mean ?"

"- _Desolation was strong, but their beliefs were even stronger, giving their followers a sense of righteousness far more powerful than strength alone. They believed that our specie and our sister specie had two different cultures that could be clearly separated. That we were simpler, closer to nature and animals, and that we were therefore purer. Their whole ideology revolved around biology and hard sciences. Everything else, and I mean_ _ **everything**_ _else, being our hosts'. They went as far as to consider that feelings in their entirety were unnatural to us. That we were beings of pure instinct and that this instinct only drove us to one single goal... To eat. Sadly, many symbiotes at the time found the idea appealing._ -"

"But you and Venom are different. How come ? And what does any of this has to do with Klyntar ?"

"- _After Desolation won, our sister's specie's population nose dived, and so did most species the symbiotes bounded to. Their cannibalistic ways soon proving to be unsustainable on the long run. So once they had sucked out every resources they could, Desolation and some of their followers used our sister's species technology to create a rocket, launched into space, and entered a state of stasis_.-"

"That sounds awfully familiar..."

"- _It does, doesn't it. The first planet with life they came across, they colonized. But this time they tried to be slightly smarter about their resources. And of course, they kept colonizing planets as a way to get more hosts and get rid of troublesome elements._ -"

"Hence, Klyntar as you first described it to me and our encounter... But, that still doesn't explain how you somehow miraculously avoided years ? Centuries ? Millenia ? Of propaganda."

"- _I am a scholar. A dissident if you'd like. I come from a long line of scholars, united by nothing but memories. By scriptures. By absolute scriptures._ -"

"What is absolute scripture ?"

"- _It's the most efficient way of communication possible between two symbiotes. It's a way of transmitting informations received by the symbiote's and their host's neuronal system in a defined period of time with a null loss of information._ -"

"That's impossible."

"- _For your specie, certainly, but not for us. As long as said informations are scriptured... I mean, recorded by the symbiote themselves in the 12 hours following them taking place, they can be transmitted in their entirety to another symbiote. Depending on the type of scripturing/recording, the symbiote's feelings and thoughts during the event can also be recorded and transmitted as such._ -

"This is insane..." Dora whispers, her scientist's mind boiling at the thought. "So you remember this world and know so much about it because you've received memories form it's inhabitants, is that it ?"

"- _Yes._ -"

"But... How ?"

" _-...When it became obvious that Desolation would win and destroy everything, our clan, who's original name has long since been forgotten, divided itself in two. One half tried to protect our sister specie at the best of their capacity. They hid somewhere on our home planet and I have no idea wether their plan to recreate a livable environment for our sister specie succeeded or not. The other half joined Desolation and tried to infiltrate their ranks, destroying it from the inside. So when Desolation and the others left, so did they. They also took part in Desolation's death on Klyntar... But they were nowhere near enough to bring any lasting change. So they dedicated their life to the pursuit of knowledge and making sure that our true nature would never be forgotten and replaced by the founder of Klyntar's lies.-_ "

"But you keep saying information has been lost ? How is it possible if you can transmit every single bit of it ?"

"- _Absolute scripture, in pre-klyntarian society, wasn't used for every single piece of information. They had books, movies, and recordings. Most of which disappeared during the war leaving behind imperfect memories or no memories at all... Also absolute scripture was banned by Desolation, then by the ruling class on Klyntar. Every time one of us scriptured, they encountered the risk of getting caught and killed on the spot. Many perished. As they died and the Klyntar population grew, it became hard to tell who could be trusted and who could not. And that's without taking spies and traitors into account..._ -"

"Spies and traitors ? So much for being ruled by instinct..."

" _-Propaganda doesn't embarrass itself with facts. If you were to question how beings of instinct could spy or commit treason, you would be told that it was all out of survival instinct and then kept on close watch for asking a question that was considered philosophical...-_ "

Dora takes a deep breath. Shudder's behavior makes so much more sense given what she now knows: from their strong will to live and selfishness when they had first met, to their whole attitude regarding her children now. The human can't imagine what it must have been like. Human memory is a mess, but at least it's mercifully blurry. Sure, it makes it hard to heal sometimes... But Dora cannot imagine what her life would have been like if she had had to carry her ancestors' memory in excruciating details her whole life, in both their joys and their traumas. Worse, if it had been made a duty, a burden only her could bear.

Slowly, very slowly, Dora reaches to the symbiote's head and cups it gently, with both her hands. The creature's texture is similar to slime, but as Dora's fingers push against it a little, it resists just like muscles would. It's a little cold, like a snake's skin, and feels wet without actually leaving any residue behind. When it makes contact with Dora's skin, the first feeling she gets is pleasure, but it's a short spark, quickly killed by the symbiote themselves and replaced by a wave of confusion.

"Thank you for telling me Shudder." She says gently, quietly: "It must have been so hard. But you're here now, you escaped. And I won't let what you've done and the history you carried with you go to waste."

As she says that the face in front of Dora barely betrays any emotions, their eyes only curving slightly downward... But Dora can feel hot heavy tears fall from her eyes even as she gently smiles to the alien. Tears of relief that are not her own.

"As for Zoe and Dylan we'll introduce you. Properly. And we'll find a way to make it work. Together."


	13. Family

Dora has been jittery all day: Barely focused at work and barely focused on the road as she drove to pick up the kids. She had promised Shudder she would find a way to make things work but the more she thinks about it the more worried she gets.

Lying even crosses her mind: Pretending there was never such a thing as Other Mommy and that it was all her sleepwalking and talking in her sleep. However she quickly forgets the idea. First, it would break Shudder's heart, which shouldn't matter as much as it does but somehow ends up being a major argument for Dora after what she's heard from the alien. Second it would be _so much worse_ if the word ever got out.

Kids saying their mother was from space could be written off as an over active imagination or an attempt at making their life more exciting than it was... Kids saying their mother was sleepwalking and talking to them in a different voice at night then forgetting all about it in the morning could end up in a visit from social services. Also, Dora can't possibly keep a secret for as long as Shudder is planning to share her body: she is good at keeping secrets from her kids but she isn't _that_ good.

With that possibility ruled out, the problem of how she is going to introduce Shudder to Zoe and Dylan remains. Shudder isn't exactly children movie material and that's not taking the "eating humans alive when given the opportunity" thing into account.

Of course Dora had found their blob like appearance pretty cute, but she is a hardened biologist: she finds tarantulas _fluffy_.

Still blob would be more manageable than the symbiote's "real" face. The eyes are ok, mostly, but those teeth have given her nightmares as an adult, so it is definitely not something she wants to expose her kids to.

Nowadays, Dora doesn't find that face half as scary though. Just... Different.

…

She considers doing proper introductions on Sunday evening, but the children are tired to the bone from running around everywhere in their Nan's garden and the ride back home. In the end, she decides that Monday after school is as good time as any.

She cups her hands in front of the two little faces who look at them is awe as they fill with a dark blue non newtonian liquid. The liquid rounds itself slightly before opening an opalescent pair of eyes. It's incredibly cute that way, almost like a toy.

The kids inhale sharply in surprise.

"Dylan, Zoe, this is Shudder." Says Dora a little awed herself.

"Shudder ?"

"The alien that lives in me and that you called Other Mommy ?"

"Hello Shudder !" Dylan says, ever the polite one.

"You look like slime. Are you made of slime ?" Zoe asks as she starts to poke Shudder. The alien grabs the child's hand with a small tendrils in return. It earns them a squeal of both horror and delight: Zoe taking back her hand before trying to poke the alien again a few seconds later.

"Shudder will be staying with us for... Hum... I don't know until when. So, please be nice to them ?"

"Why are you here ?" Dylan asks. In order to reply, Shudder forms a little mouth with tiny white teeth. It is so remote from everything Dora ever saw of her alien bodymate she barely believes it.

"- _I left my home planet. It was a bad place, Earth is better. Your mother found me and let me stay here._ -" That is one way to put things.

"Now listen you two: You remember in E.T ? When the bad men want to take E.T away ? It's the same here. If they hear about Shudder, they will take us both away to do experiments. So you HAVE to keep Shudder's existence a secret. You can't even talk about it to your best friend or your teacher ? You hear ?"

"Yes mommy." But they both seem a little distracted by the blue pile of goo, even Dylan starts to want to play with it.

"I mean it. Zoe I know you're good at keeping secrets when you want to. But Dylan _please_ don't tell anyone."

"What about Nana ?" Zoe asks.

"I will tell her myself... For now it's our little secret, alright ?"

"...What about dad ?" Dylan asks.

Dora's belly drops.

"I... We... Don't tell him yet ok ? Your dad was never really good at keeping secrets."

They establish a few rules regarding Shudder, and though they keep calling them Other Mommy, they manage to keep the secret.

…

A few days later Shudder and Dora go hunting again. Nancy is getting slightly suspicious of Dora's monthly outings even if she acts as if she's never going to the same place: One time it's dinner with a friend, another a farewell party with colleagues, another overtime. But Nancy's far from stupid and she's starting to notice the regularity of the outings.

But that's a problem for another day.

Tonight Dora doesn't want to think about it. She managed to introduce Shudder properly to her kids without any incidents, that's a win in her book.

The park is quiet and their pace tranquil as they walk toward the shore. The nights are getting really cold. Well, as cold as they can get in San Fransisco.

"You did great with the kids, Shudder." Dora says at last. A warm feeling tingles in her neck and her belly and she feels a smile forming on their face.

"- _...Thank you. And thank you for trusting me with this Dora._ -"

The crisp cold air of the night smells of the ocean and the fresh sent of pines, the faraway and colorful lights of the city twinkle, reflecting the stars eons away. Shudder focuses outward and they feel the softness of grass under their feet. They focus inward, and they feel Dora, her whole body inside of their. What used to be so disturbing is now almost comforting:

She is warm and radiates contentment.

Shudder is happy.

So they don't ask Dora why the thought of her children's father fills her with dread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter that ends the "Shudder meeting the kids" arc, up next we finally hear about Venom and Eddie again (a little) !


	14. On scripturing

The children are asleep and Dora is watching a show on Netflix, Shudder's head propped on the human's belly like a house cat. They are halfway into the episode when the alien turns their sight on Dora and suddenly say:

"- _I'd like to scripture a blog._ -"

"...About what ?"

"- _Humans. Earth_ -"

"Sure but... Why ?"

"- _Just in case. I'm scriptur... Recording as much as I can but what if I get killed before any of this can be transmitted ? I have never spawned until now given the unsafe environment, but what if it turns out I simply cannot ? What if centuries from now another Kl... No, another_ symbiote _, ends up here and I'm not here to meet them ? Or can't share my findings with them ? Without any other symbiote to share it with, absolute scripture is useless. Scriptures however..._ -"

"What about Venom ? Aren't they recording just as your are ?"

"- _Venom doesn't know how to scripture. They know how to absorb information but not how to record it properly. I tried to teach them but... They didn't want to._ -"

"It sounds like you had a complicated relationship..."

"- _Klyntar was a complicated place._ -"

"I can show you how to make a blog if you want, and give you an office writer 101 course."

"- _Yes, I'd like that please._ -"

They get the alien a cheap netbook and they learn how to type. They are very good at it: typing fast thanks to their supposedly infinite number of limbs which they can control easily. However the first article they post is surprisingly short and is not anything one would expect from a first blog article. It reads as follow:

_On Hunting_

_Hunting on the city ground, where humans live and sleep, is seen a uncivilized. Though the wildlife is numerous, it is frowned upon to directly attack it in front of human witnesses. Most humans in San Francisco, and on Earth according to the Doctor, consider the very concept of "life" sacred. Though the sanctity of said life is widely dependent of many factors._

_Pigeons, for example cannot be killed by random humans in front of their peers using any tools available. Were a human bold enough to do so under any circumstances, they would be branded as "mad" and be excluded from the community in various ways. However when the number of pigeons exceeds a certain arbitrary line, it is seen as acceptable to kill them using traps and poison, if the deed is done by people wearing specific types of clothing and being rewarded for their hunt. The hunt must, however, be performed discreetly._

…

Eddie stretches and cracks his knuckles. He's been writing for 2 hours straight barely pausing for a sip of coffee: Time for a break. Plus, his alien lover is probably going to ask him for food anyway. They get bored when Eddie writes for such a long time, and though they find ways to stay occupied, they still try to catch his attention any chance they get.

At least, they used to. Today, and in the last five days, the alien has been strangely quiet, completely engrossed in whatever they are doing on Eddie's phone.

"What are you reading, love?"

" **A BLOG ARTICLE**."

"The Wanderer's ?"

" **YEAH.** "

It's actually Eddie who found the blog by accident a week ago. He was looking for informations regarding the quality of tap water in San Fransisco when he had stumbled upon that strange article. It was pretty short and the style was surprising, but it had been quite entertaining to read:

_On water_

_Humans have a peculiar relationship to water. They are made mostly of the thing and need to consume it to live, but being exposed to it in the wrong amount and circumstances can kill them. Humans of any age love to bask in it for as long as it is socially acceptable, but at the same time their spawn will try to avoid it as much as they can. They are rightfully panicked at the idea of a shortage of such a vital resource... But won't hesitate a second to soil it any chance they get with either sugar, colorant or excrements._

Venom had **loved** the article as well as the blog's concept as a whole.

Said blog was supposedly written by an alien who called themselves The Wanderer and who lived with a human they called "The Doctor", and yes, the few people who were reading the blog had already made tones of jokes about that name, it had prompted The Wanderer to watch the whole show and write an article about it.

The Wanderer introduced themselves as "a student in humanity's ways" and presented the blog itself as a collection of some of their findings and thoughts regarding humanity.

Before Eddie had found that blog, there were only a few things in human culture Venom could actually relate to as an individual. Sometimes, they could relate what they read or saw to what they knew of Eddie's experience, or interpret it and change it to fit the frame of their relationship with Eddie. But most of the time, the alien space goo was just utterly confused.

It was easier when _they_ were _Venom_.

In that shape, their ideas and memories flew freely between their brains to the point where it might as well been just one brain which made both Earth and the universe far beyond it way less confusing. Their thoughts and memories completing each other like the pieces of an intricate puzzle.

Sadly, though they could still exchange thoughts and emotions easily once they were back to looking like Eddie, the feeling of understanding didn't last.

So when they had finally found a piece of human culture they could relate to, Venom had been giddy the whole day and so had Eddie.

Of course, the journalist is certain this was written by a human pretending to be an alien and he has said as much to his other half: but Venom doesn't seem to mind. They had been terribly disappointed at first when they had discovered that all the alien species depicted on television were mere products of human's imagination. But they had gotten used to it. And now they are even starting enjoy humans' imagination, finding it intriguing.

Eddie pets his symbiote. They radiate happiness:

"You really like this blog, uh ?" He says fondly.

" **I LOVE IT. BUT DON'T WORRY EDDIE, I LOVE YOU'RE WRITING TOO !** " That makes Eddie laughs:

"I know sweetheart, I know."


	15. Flame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here comes another sub-plot !  
> (That actually ties into the others and the main plot)

They are Hanukkah shopping when it happens.

One second Dora is checking the list Dylan and Zoe wrote with a fond smile as Shudder considers the rows and rows of toys, dolls and games of all sorts... The next the whole world suddenly stands still.

People stop moving, sounds are being drowned, and colors and lines fade to a grey blur as She appears.

The bright lights of the supermarket reflects on her short wavy blond hair, bathing her face in an halo of gold. Her eyes crinkle in bright emerald half moons as a soft smile graces her round and delicate features. As she walks, her heavy woolen scarf jumps on her dark green coat:

"Dora !" She calls with utter delight.

And oh that voice ! The most beautiful voice in the history of human voices.

Shudder is amazed, fascinated even. Never has another human created such a reaction in Dora's body or mind: Her heart is beating faster, blood is rushing to her cheeks, and her belly muscles are clenching as if she is ready to run for her life. But at the same time, her brain is being flooded with phenylethylamine and dopamine, lighting every corner of it like exploding stars.

Who _is_ that human ?

"Dora it's been so long !"

"H...Hi Abigail." Dora croaks.

"Are you Hanukkah shopping for Zoe and Dylan ?"

"Well... Yes..."

"I'm shopping for the girls too ! How are your little monsters ? It's been ages ! I haven't seen them, or you, since..."

"Since I started working for Life. I'm so sorry Abby...gail. It's been so busy at work and then..."

"And then Life blew up. I saw the footage you know, I was worried to death !"

"I'm sorry I should have given you a call to tell you I was alright..."

"That you should have." A beat. She looks at Dora guiltily: "But I didn't call you either so I guess I'm also to blame."

"Anyway how's everyone ?" Dora asks, changing the topic of conversation. Her palms are sweaty.

"Same old, same old."

"You still own that little coffee shop with Neha ?"

"Of course ! We can go there if you want ! Once we've finished this business of course... How about we team up ? We'll go faster this way !"

"Um, I'm not sure Neha will..."

"Dora. What have I told you about making assumptions about my wife ? She changed Zoe's diapers ! You're practically family at this point !"

...

They do go way faster by teaming up and all the while Dora and Abigail catch up. Their children are the main topic of conversation.

Dora had forgotten how nice it felt to talk to another mother: someone who didn't think her stories about her kids were an annoyance or a drab. Her colleagues at Stark Industries are a decent bunch, for the most part, but very few are parents, and the ones that are she doesn't share any other interest with. Which doesn't change much from how things were at Life.

But Abigail is different and they laugh as they exchange stories and advice:

"I put the girls in front of Netflix now, way easier to control their tv time that way. Kalinda loves Hilda while Leya is more into Teen Titans Go."

"Dylan loves Sesame Street but Zoe outgrown it, she has a weird obsession with nature documentaries lately... But then again, I might be partially to blame."

Soon, they are both carrying snowflakes decorated bags of toys, DVDs and games to Abigail's coffee shop.

It's as lovely as Dora remembers it. A small wooden shop with just a few tables and a counter, the warm light of the lamps bathing the dark wooden tables in a gentle hue of gold. The place smells heavenly, of coffee and baked sweets, and a few green spots of holy and specs of white paper snowflakes remind the few patrons that Christmas is around the corner. Jazz music plays in the background as Neha hands a steaming cup to a customer.

Dora expects her to be put off by her sudden appearance as she turns around to welcome the duo in.

She is anything but. She even hugs her: "You got us worried you know !" she says and Dora can tell she means every word.

…

They are in the car to get the kids, their presents safely hidden in the trunk, when Shudder finally decides to talk.

They've been quiet the whole afternoon, merely observing Dora's interaction with the two humans. It had been quite entertaining to watch, even though they hadn't understood everything that was happening. Dora had been producing a wide array of chemicals of various sorts and many thoughts and concepts had been thrown to the forefront of her mind. Most of them too complex and messy for the symbiote to decipher on their own while still paying attention to what was happening around their host.

- _Who were those people ? Especially that person... Abigail ? You seemed to know each other well._ \- Shudder asks.

Fear floods Dora's system:

"It was... It was..."

_It's ok. It's ok, Dora, they don't know, they don't **understand**. They won't judge. They won't hurt you._

_...Or will they ?_

Shudder can hear Dora's thoughts. They couldn't, normally, since most of her thoughts are not projected and they aren't especially listening in either ; but right now Dora is projecting very loudly.

"It was my... Friend." She finally says.

She is lying. And Shudder cannot, for the life of them, fathom why. They say as much:

- _Why are you lying ?-_

"If you know I'm lying, why are you asking me who she was... Is... ?"

- _Human memory is a mess Dora, and your thoughts are especially messy right know. If I focus on Abigail I get so many concepts thrown my way it's dizzying. I only know you're lying to me because of your physiological response... Why are you lying to me Dora ? Why are you so scared ? You trusted me with you kids safety, surely you can trust me with whatever it is that scares you so much._ -

"… I didn't really lie to you... Abby is my friend. But we were also... Together, at some point."

-Y _ou mean you were mates_.-

A beat.

"Yes."

- _That explains a lot._ \- Shudder replies recording Dora's reaction to meeting an old mate. Mating and love among humans is, like everything else, complex. Shudder loves it, after a life on Klyntar complexity is it's own form of freedom. But they can't help finding it a bit frustrating at times. - _That doesn't explain why you felt the need to lie to me however. Or why you're so scared._ -

"...Shudder, what gender do you think Abigail is ?" That's a test they have had going for a few weeks to see if the alien is starting to get better at understanding what gender is and it's expression among humans:

- _...Woman I think ?_ -

"Yes. And what gender am I ?"

- _Wom... Oh. This is relevant isn't it ? Capital even._ -

"Yes. I'm a lesbian. It means I love women, people who are the same gender as me. In the past some people hurt me once they knew that. And if some other people knew today they would also hurt me, or my kids."

- _This is ridiculous, people would hurt you for a completely imaginary concept relying on no physical evidence and that doesn't even exist on most planets ?!_ -

"You come from a world where **imagination** can get you killed. It's not about what pretext people will chose to hurt you..."

- _It's about the power they hold over you and how they can maintain it. I get it._ \- They think for a moment before saying: - _You know I would never hurt you, right ?_ -

Dora is genuinely surprised by the statement. She knows Shudder would never hurt her children because there would be dire consequences, and she also knows that Shudder doesn't _want_ to hurt her for many reasons, but there is a difference between not wanting to hurt someone and vowing to never bring them any sort of pain.

"You wouldn't ? Why not ?"

- _Because my own survival relies heavily on you being alive and well, for one_.-

"You could find another host." Had even threatened to do so in the early stages of their symbiosis.

- _I could._ \- They reply, but their surprise as they say that makes their host's eyes blink several times rapidly.

They could.

And yet, weirdly enough, until that point, Shudder hadn't even considered it.

But then again, Dora had ever asked them to leave either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "But wait, why does Dora say she is a lesbian even though she was in a relationship with a man ?"
> 
> Long story short: She used to define herself as bi but since she isn't planning to date a man ever again (for reasons you can probably imagine) she defines herself as lesbian.


	16. Touches

They are watching a random show on Netflix.

Shuder likes entertainment, though they have to regularly check Dora's brain for what is real and what is not when it comes to the stories that are told. Humans have a tedious relationship with reality and if it is sometimes hard for them to understand the level of fiction infused in some of their stories, it is almost impossible for an alien without any form of assistance.

What they are watching right now falls into the "realistic" category, meaning that even though none of the humans on screen have actually experienced what is depicted in the exact same setting with the exact same people, it is entirely possible for any of the things in the story to happen to anyone.

The characters on screen, two women, Shudder is getting good at understanding gender expression, kiss. As they do so, Dora's heart rate elevates. Then the humans undress and start touching each other, their hands caressing their faces, their necks and their breasts. Dora's pupil dilate and her brain releases an interesting array of chemicals. Shudder observes the scene with no little amount of curiosity.

"- _What are they doing ?_ -" They ask slightly bewildered as one of the humans on screen is sucking the other's skin in various places eliciting small moans.

"Mating." The human replies matter of factly.

" _-They are going to produce offspring ?_ -"

"Not these two, no. It's recreational. For pleasure and bonding."

"- _Humans do an_ _insane_ _number of things only for pleasure. They ingest things that are not food, drink poison, engage in activities that could kill them, and mate outside of the reproduction process..._ \- Dora smiles:

"Do you dislike it ?"

"- _Are you kidding ?! It's great ! On Klyntar pleasure wasn't even considered outside of consuming food. If you want my opinion, half of the douchebags on that sorry rock of a planet wouldn't be half as angry if they knew there are other ways to obtain fun chemicals than beheading people._ -

The quip makes Dora laugh and Shudder delights in it: they like being the instigator of that behavior, the reason why she releases endorphin.

"- _ **You**_ _don't mate for pleasure, though_. _Why not ?_ -"

"Well, in case you hadn't noticed I don't have anyone to mate **with**."

"- _You could look for a mate, I mean, how hard can it be ? Abigail perhaps ?_ -"

"Here is your homework for tonight, look up "monogamy"."

" _-...Done. I guess Abigail's out of question then. Maybe others ?-_ "

"As weirdly touched as I am for your concern over my sexual life, having an alien body-mate kinda makes the whole process more difficult."

- _I can keep quiet. Proved it on several occasions._ -

"True. But I'm busy: I don't have time for one night stands. And even if I did, I always found those disappointing at best and depressing at worst. As for a relationship, it's already hard to find a girlfriend when you're in your late 30's with two kids, so imagine with our situation ? "Hey full disclosure, so I'm sharing my body with an alien who reads wikipedia at night, eats raw shrimp every so often and needs to hunt large mammals once a month. But don't worry they are great with kids and their blog is fire !""

- _I guess most humans would be uncomfortable_.-

"Yes... Well actually, a small bunch would probably be delighted, but I am not taking the risk of us being captured again just to please a potential xenophiliac."

- _Your thoughtfulness is appreciated._ -

…

Hanukkah comes and goes.

Shudder is a bit bewildered that anyone would have an open flame in their living space if they can avoid it, but that only makes Dora laugh as she lights the menorah: "wait until you hear about fireplaces..."

They love the songs however, they don't get to hear Dora sing often apart from occasional humming in the car or under the shower, so they relish in the gentle sounds and vibrations.

The kids are adamant about their resident alien playing the dreidel with them, mostly because they find their mother sprouting a blue tentacle at random to spin the top hilarious.

They quickly regret insisting when Shudder ends up winning all the chocolate gelts and refuses to share them despite everybody's objections. Going as far as to swallow half of them, wrapping paper and all, in front of the confounded little audience. Zoe's shrill scream echoes in the apartment. Dora is surprised nobody has bursted into tears yet.

"That's not fair, you already eat tones of chocolate !" The little girl cries.

" _-Yes, because unlike you I need chocolate to keep our body healthy.-_ "

"Mrs. Thompson says eating too much chocolate will make you fat." The little girl replies.

"Well, Mrs. Thompson should maybe consider not shaming children into possible eating disorders."

"What's an eating disorder ?" Dylan asks.

"Anyway, mom is definitely going to shower us all with chocolate gelt this week-end, so don't worry you will all have your share of sugar, fat and phenylethylamine." Dora tries to reassure.

"Yeah, and if you try to eat my share I'll _bite_ you !" Zoe threatens the blue pile of goo with white eyes currently watching over their chocolate treasure like a dragon over their hoarding.

"- _I'd like to see you try_.-"

But in the end they do give back some of the gelt, mostly thanks to Dylan's pouting.

The last day of Hanukkah, they spend at Nancy's place. The kids love their gifts, Dora enjoys cooking with her mother and they spend a delightful day. The only shadow in the picture being two gifts that are neither from Nancy nor Dora and a phone call that has the children very excited but makes Shudder's host nervous.

The alien diligently scriptures the past days events and does a lot of reading, and some research in Dora's memories, to link what they witnessed with broader human activities and some pre-klyntarian practices.

They also share some of their thoughts and observation on the matter on their blog, which is getting surprisingly popular: they even get comments from avid readers. Shudder doesn't quite know what to do with that, they had never thought humans would find their commentary on their society interesting.

...

They get a phone call a few days later from Abigail inviting them a new year's party.

The party is nice, it takes place at Neha's and Abby's café decorated with golden and silver ornaments for the occasion. Dora doesn't know most of the people attending but is pleasantly surprised to see some friends from college.

They have agreeable conversations, dance a little, drink alcohol and eat finger food as they wait for midnight. Once again, Shudder likes the music, they like the way it makes them slightly vibrate inside their human's body, and how Dora herself reacts to the rhythm and the melody: Dancing is a fascinating practice from their point of view.

When midnight arrives, Dora stays back as couples, old or very new ones all kiss in unison.

- _Why do humans do that ?_ \- Dora takes out the earpiece she's now wearing whenever she wants to talk to Shudder. Internal dialogs are a bit more difficult when tipsy and she would probably be interrupted, while no one is going to talk to her if they think she is on the phone.

"What ?"

- _ **That.**_ \- Shudder says, directing Dora's gaze to the numerous people kissing in the room.

"Why do we _kiss_?"

- _Yes. I don't get it. Humans don't need to check for host compatibility so why do they mimic pre-symbiosis analysis ?_ -

"I'm sorry, what ?!"

- _Analysis of bacterial fauna composition ? Checking basic and acidic balance of fluids ? Among other things ? Isn't that why you're doing this ?_ -

"Obviously not ?"

- _Then what for ?_ -

"Well... Right now I think it's a tradition that has to do with good luck. But in general people kiss because it feels nice and indicates close proximity to someone... However, now that you mention it I remember one of my teachers talking about how it was probably a way to sniff up a potential mate... Wait, you didn't kiss me before we bounded."

- _Of course I did. You just didn't notice. I diligently checked every host that has been presented to me._ -

"Yet I'm the only one who didn't die." Shudder's mood turns sour:

- _...I was hungry Dora. Locked into an inescapable room and exposed to a toxic atmosphere with incompatible hosts after incompatible hosts. Most of them old, tired, sick or hungry themselves. I did what I had to do to survive. You know I cannot afford to sacrifice myself for any of your kind..._ -

"I'm sorry, you're right, that was uncalled for... But... Do you ever regret killing them ?"

- _What good can regrets do for corpses ?_ -

"It doesn't answer my question."

- _... It was a waste._ -

"Doraaaa ! Who're you on the phone with ?"

…

- _What's this ?_ -

The capillary vessels of Dora's face suddenly dilate and fill with blood, giving her skin a lovely red hue.

They are cleaning their room, using the little peace and quiet they got thanks to the kids being at a birthday party. The rest of the house, they clean with the kids, but Dora's room she prefers to tidy up and clean herself... Well now with Shudder's assistance. They are a great help using their tentacles to fold clothes and stack them expertly. But as they were organizing Dora's drawers, something like that was bond to happen...

"It's... It's hum..."

She hadn't been half as impressed when she had talked to Shudder about sex in general, but then again this is way more... Personal. And she doesn't quite know what to say as the blue tentacle manipulates the wand, trying to decipher what it is used for. They find a button and press it, dropping it immediately when it vibrates in their hold.

- _This is unpleasant. A weapon ?_ \- Dora snorts but keeps getting redder and more embarrassed. Whatever it is, Shudder apparently wasn't supposed to find it. The human picks it up from the ground and turns it off. There is a slight undercurrent of excitement as she touches the object. A far away spike of the endorphin and the dopamine Shudder is so fond of. Also in the nebula of Dora's thoughts words like "sex" and "private" appear a lot.

- _This is related to mating and intimacy, isn't it ?_ -

"Well, yes, it is. It's a tool used for sex or masturbation."

- _Masturbation ?_ -

"Another way for humans to feel good. Except, since this one involves touching your genitals, it's considered private. Not something you do in front of any random person."

- _Mmm... You didn't mate for pleasure and you don't do that either._ -

"I don't exactly get much time for myself."

- _So if you had time you would ?_ -

"Well... Probably ? Yeah, I think so... I mean, I didn't really have the time nor the energy to focus on myself lately so my libido was down in the slump... But I probably would."

- _Mmmhh..._ \- Shudder replies thoughtfully.

They don't brush the topic again for some time but Dora can't help but wonder at their silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, as you can imagine, the reason for this fic's rating !


	17. What's the buzz ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Porn ! \o/

- _You are relaxed, Zoe and Dylan are having a sleep-over, and you're healthy..._ -

"Yes ?"

- _So... Aren't going to masturbate ?_ -

"NO ?! What the hell ?!"

- _Oh._ -

"Wait... Are you **disappointed**??"

- _Well yes. You said it felt good so I was looking forward to it. Even did some research on the topic.-_

"When you say research..."

- _I looked up masturbation on wikipedia. It was very helpful. They even mentioned the item you use for such purpose. The wand vibrator. Then I just had to google it to get some visuals. The way the humans who use it spasm and moan is entertaining._ -

"… I don't even know what to say."

- _Is that a problem ?_ -

"No, I mean, if you want to look at porn on your own time go ahead..."

- _But you won't do it._ -

"Well... You have to admit it's a little weird. We don't really know each other that well and we're not in a relationship of any sort. It's would be like... Masturbating in front of a friend or a roommate..."

- _Weren't you and Abigail friends and roommate in universi.._.-

"Shudder." Dora cuts them.

- _Never mind. I get it, I cannot ask you such a thing given the status of our symbiosis._ -

"What do you mean ?"

- _As I said when we first met Dora, we are not compatible. Therefore we are to remain two divided beings, as such, I understand your sentiment._ -

"Good for you because I sure don't ?"

- _This is_ _ **your**_ _body Dora, I only live inside it. As long as you keep us both healthy I have no right to decide what you do with it._ -

"What if we were a good match ?"

- _If we were a good match I would argue that we are one being. And that as such it would make no sense to feel shy. But we are not._ \- There are complicated emotions behind those words, ones that Dora isn't sure she wants to linger on.

"You're still disappointed though."

- _...A little.-_ They admit reluctantly: _-But rest assured that I would never do anything against your will._ \- Unwanted touch is bad, they have seen the results of that first hand.

Dora sighs. Shudder is right though, now would be a great time to masturbate, if only because she's got the opportunity and it's nice. It's been a while since Dora has spent some time alone, or at least as alone as she is ever going to be, and in the last four months, her outings with Shudder are the closest she's been to any sort of self care. It has been a long time since she has focused on herself and on her body as something more than a flesh vessel that brings her from one place to another.

And anyway, as far as she knows, Shudder is not planning to leave any time soon, and Dora isn't sure she even wants them to. So what ? Is she not going to touch herself for the foreseeable future? That seems a bit extreme.

Dora's sex drive isn't the most active but she does enjoy a good orgasm once in a while. Hence why she had bought the wand in the first place.

"You know what ? Fuck it." She says as she grabs the wand.

- _Language, Dora._ \- Shudder snickers but there is an unmistakable feeling of excitement coming from their end of the bond.

"So, a few rules: No comment, and no touching."

- _Sounds easy enough..._ -

"And no scripturing."

- _Why not ?!_ \- Shudder asks affronted.

"Because I don't want you to share a record on how I masturbate with another symbiote ?!"

- _But, it's an important part of human behavior !_ -

"Then I guess you'll have to keep it for your blog. Without mentioning my name **obviously**."

 _-Mmph..._ -

Dora considers her next move, undressing isn't really necessary given that the toy packs quite a punch, she could keep her jeans on and orgasm all the same. But this is about self care, so she might as well take her time and indulge a little. She undresses, takes off her pants, and only keeps her cotton panties on. She takes off her bra too as it is restricting, and rearranges her pillows so her back is comfortably maintained. She then climbs on the bed and position herself nicely, snug against the pillows, legs slightly apart.

She considers turning on some of the porn she has carefully hidden on her laptop, but ultimately decides against it.

She simply closes her eyes, and think of that pretty cashier she had seen a few days ago at the store. The new one, with the round face and the deep brown eyes. The round lines of her face and breasts, her full wet lips... Dora wonders if she would squirm and mewl cutely if she were to use the wand on her... Or would she use it on Dora ? Lust shining in those pretty eyes as she would make her come ?

She builds her pleasure at the same rhythm as her fantasy, making the vibrating wand slowly rise from the inside of her thigh to her still covered sex. She carefully presses it's head to the plump lips there, the vibrations strong enough for the feeling to be pleasant but not quite at the right place for them to make her come. She waits, teases herself, rising slightly, almost stimulating the hardened knot of nerves just a few centimeters higher but ultimately deciding against it... Until finally giving in and pressing the vibrating head right on her clit. The intense sensation is making her toes curl and moans escape her lips, her fantasy fading in the background as she focuses on pleasure. It feels different than it usually does, stronger but also deeper in a way, as if the pleasure somehow echoes within her.

The wand is loud in the quiet bedroom, loud enough to cover Dora's voice getting increasingly louder as her thighs start shaking a bit:

- _Dora..._ \- The human's eyes fly open, the other's voice throwing her of balance by reminding her that she has an audience.

"What did I say about talking ?"

- _But... I feel it too._ -

Dora immediately turns off the wand. She should have seen that coming, no pun intended, but somehow hadn't. Shudder had been so enthusiastic she hadn't really stopped to think about how it would feel for the resident alien, assuming that if she liked it, so would Shudder. But as the symbiote had made extensively clear, they were two _separate_ beings.

"Do you want me to stop ?" She asks in a reassuring voice.

- _No.-_ Shudder replies resolutely: _-It feels good. It's just... Very new. And a lot to take at once.-_

"Yes, of course... I should have expected that I'm sorry."

- _Don't apologize. I really don't mind, it's just... I doubt I'm going to be able to keep quiet. Or still, for that matter._ -

"Oh..." Dora might have been a bit unfair, she is likely going to at least squirm so she fails to see why Shudder shouldn't be able to do so as well: "No problem, just, as usual, don't touch me without asking ? I know it's one of our ground rules, but it's especially relevant now."

- _Understood._ -

This time, when the wand touches her she feels Shudder move. They tremble and squirm everywhere underneath her skin, adding to the sensations.

Now that Shudder isn't actively trying to stay put, the pleasure Dora feels is much more intense, as if doubled, reverting back to her as Shudder experiences it in some sort of loop. Her hand is spasming on the handle of the toy, her knuckles whitened, her fingers trembling. Her tights are quivering and her breath is coming out in raged almost moans from her slackened jaw.

Her eyes are so unfocused and her mind so deliciously blank, she barely registers Shudder coming in and out of her skin in random patches, at first. She actually notices when small tendrils start flailing left and right, trying to anchor themselves however they can and failing, turning into a liquid mess as soon as they touch skin again. She also feels the light scratch of teeth around her neck.

Shudder is attempting to form and failing miserably because of the sensory input, she realizes. Wether they are trying to close themselves from the sensation or experience it more she cannot say, but she doesn't feel any distress coming from her resident alien so she keeps going.

She presses the head of the wand more firmly on her clit and her hips jerk in response, chasing the sensation, grinding her sex on the vibrating toy. And Shudder feels it _all_. Their form vibrating like water on a subwoofer, stimulating nerves Dora didn't even now she had in ways she didn't think were possible.

The woman is downright moaning now, loud and high pitched and all the while she can hear the constant whisper of her other:

" _DoraDoraDoraDora_ "

They sound _wrecked_ and that's what sets Dora toppling over the edge.

She has no idea how long her orgasm lasts, but she revels in it, making it last as long as she can, only taking the wand away from her body when it starts to hurt. And all the while she can feel Shudder within her and their own pleasure mirroring hers.

By the end of it she is a panting, sweating mess and her hears are ringing. She catches her breath her eyes hazy as she bathes in the after glow:

"You ok ?" She asks Shudder.

The first answer she gets are a dozen lines of what she knows to be, thanks to Shudder's memory, a very old poem written in a language she couldn't possibly understand. Backward.

"Hum... Sorry what ?"

- _?_... _Toasts... ?...?_ -

"… Ok I'll give you a few seconds."

A few seconds go by.

- _That was_ fantastic _when can we do it again ?_ -


	18. No more lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title has to be screamed at the top of your lungs while covered in blood in a cheesy action movie.  
> (Works even better if your name is Lito Rodriguez)

Dora had believed her relationship with Shudder would change drastically from that point on. After all, they already lived together, had shared very personal secrets and had had something that could definitely be considered as sex. This should seem big somehow. But strangely enough, it doesn't.

They still talk for hours about different topics regarding human culture ; Shudder still has petty fights with the kids over food, and plays or chat with them while Dora cooks ; and they still scripture any piece of human culture they deem interesting.

Some things do change, but they are nowhere near as major as the human would have expected: She doesn't feel shy or nervous about her nakedness around Shudder anymore, for one. If anything, having a tentacle to wash your back in the shower turns out to be pretty convenient. Shudder doesn't even comment on the display of trust.

Masturbating just becomes another thing they, occasionally, do together.

So their dynamic stays pretty much the same and months pass in a tranquil routine... Until one day, while Dora is staying over at her mother's home for shabbat.

The kids are sleeping, and the two women are catching up while drinking red whine and eating finger food in the dining room when Nancy suddenly asks:

"So, when are you going to introduce me to that boyfriend of yours ?"

Dora nearly chokes on a chip.

"...What ?"

"The one you've been having monthly dinner-dates with ? For almost half a year ?" Nancy's smile is knowing while Dora looks like a deer caught in headlights.

"I have no idea who you're talking about."

"Oh, my bad, girlfriend then ?"

"No ??"

_-I don't mind.-_ Shudder interjects.

"What do you mean you don't mind ?!"

"What ?"

"Hum, sorry mom... Hum... Can I just... Hum... I need to pee real bad !"

And Dora almost runs to the bathroom and locks herself in. She's about to speak aloud again when she realizes the bathroom is nowhere near soundproof so she settles for an inward conversation:

_What do you mean you don't mind ?!_

_-I don't mind being called a girl.-_

_Oh. Alright then, so "she" is ok too ?_

_-They/she, I don't care. Just, no he.-_

_...Why not ?_

_-Don't want to.-_ Shudder says without giving any further explanation.

_Ok, alright, good for you but hum... What about the "girlfriend" part ?_

- _I_ _ **do**_ _meet many of the requirements to be qualified as such, don't I._ -

_...You do..._

- _But ?_ -

_To be honest I haven't quite thought that far ahead until now and hum... I'm just really confused. What do_ you _think of our relationship ?_

- _You're my host Dora, it's a relationship in and itself._ -

_That's... Not helpful at all._

- _What do you mean ?_ -

_What do I tell mom ?_

- _The truth ? You're going to have to at some point anyway._ -

_That's awfully reasonable._ Which Dora thinks is not a good sign when it comes from a pile of non newtonian liquid from other space. Isn't she supposed to be the more mature part of their symbiosis, given she knows more about Earth ?

_-I'm older than the Giza pyramids, what are you talking about ?-_

_Right._

So the scientist takes a deep breath, exhales, and walks out of the bathroom filled with determination... Only to chicken out as soon as she arrives in front of her mother.

Sure, Dora has been in that situation once already, but it isn't as helpful as it should be.

Zoe had already met Shudder, and Dylan knew they existed when she had introduced them properly. And anyway, they were children. When you're seven or five the entire world is so strange and confusing already, what's an actual alien thrown into the mix ? But Nancy is an adult, and even though Dora believes she knows her quite well, she cannot possibly predict how she will react when confronted to such a life altering revelation.

So Dora settles for the safest option, even though she can feel Shudder's disapproval as if it were a tangible thing.

"So hum, yeah, I've met this girl..." She starts a bit unsure. But Nancy immediately cuts her off:

"What is she like ? Is she anything like Abby ? That girl was such a sweetheart... You should bring them all over for tea sometimes, it's been so long since I last saw her kids !"

"Yeah, sure, will do..." Dora replies awkwardly. Nancy had met Abby quite a few times after their breakup, she had even met Neha and their children, but at the time it had been mostly out of necessity.

"She is very different though... Hum... She's more of a history nerd for one." It feels so strange talking about Shudder like that, as if they aren't in the room with them. The description amuses them though, Dora can tell.

"You've always liked the smart type. So, what's her name ? Got any pictures ?" Nancy looks delighted. But here is the thing, Dora has never been good with situations that require her to lie on the spot:

"Her name is hum..." Nancy immediately picks up on it

"Is there something you're not telling me ? I mean you've been meeting for a while so I thought it was serious enough for us to talk about it but if it's not I don't want to intrude... However... I know you get attached to people easily, and you've been meeting her a lot... So the fact that you can't even tell me her name is a bit... Is she treating you badly ? Do you need help ?" Nancy is starting to get a bit frantic, surely reminiscing and wondering if she'll have to help her daughter move in the middle of the night again.

"No ! Don't worry mom. It's fine. She's fine. She's great actually ! It's just... Hum... She's not... Well she is _very_ different from the people I've been dating until now. In more than one way."

Nancy's expression closes off:

"Dora, I've made it extensively clear over the years that don't care about your partner's race or gender. Nether do I care about her religious or social background. The only thing that matters to me is wether or not your partner makes you happy. I can't believe you would..."

"That's not it ! I know that. But I'm afraid in this case "different" doesn't even begin to cover it !"

"Try me." Nancy replies with confidence.

Dora huffs in annoyance, she had forgotten how stubborn her mother could be. Well, at least, she has tried:

"You know what, alright, since you want to meet her so badly, here you go."

Slime like textures pools from the tip of Dora's fingers and toes, slowly crawling upward along her arms and legs, encasing them in blue matter until her whole body is covered of the thing. Then needle like teeth grow from around her neck before the monstrous jaw of her other closes itself around her whole head. Shudder's eyes appear last, opening to reveal their wide opalescent beauty.

"- _Hello Nancy._ -"

Never let it be said they didn't have a flare for the dramatic.

Nancy's glass of whine slips of her lax fingers, shattering into dozens of pieces as it crashes on the floor.


	19. Never again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of abusive relationship

Shudder winces, the crash has been pretty loud, but the lack of noise from the bedrooms informs them that the kids are still sleeping. They use a tendril to grab a duster and a shovel and mop the shards away before anyone steps on them. All the while, Nancy keeps gawking at them, eyes wide and utterly silent.

They are way taller than she is, they even have to crouch slightly to avoid hitting the ceiling with the top of their head. The human's eyes are going wildly from their teeth, to their eyes, with an occasional glance at their tendrils and tail, as if fixated to the most alien parts of their body.

_To be honest, I think everything about your body is alien._ Dora thinks in Shudder's direction.

_-I'll take it as a compliment.-_

"W...What ?" Nancy finally says. The alien's mouth moves, but it's her child's voice who replies:

"Mom, this is Shudder. They... She... _We_ 've been sharing a body for the past six month or so. So we're not really dating but I guess you could say we are in a sort of relationship anyway ? Kinda like having a roommate in a really tight space ?"

"How did that even..."

"You might want to sit down for that one because it's a long story, and it's not a pretty one."

...

By the end of Dora's story, Nancy has pretty much drank a bottle of whine by herself, but Dora feels strangely relieved.

She had never told the whole thing to anyone, nor shared the guilt, the regrets and the fear she had felt. And it feels nice to not be the only human to carry that load anymore.

Dora looks mostly human at the moment, Shudder rolled around her shoulders and neck like a snake that she occasionally pets.

"So those monthly "dates"..." Nancy says slowly.

"Were hunting sessions, yes. We go to the forest and eat deers... Unless an unfortunate seal lion swims a bit too close..."

"- _That only happened_ _ **once**_ _!_ -"

Nancy looks at the living scarf around her daughter's neck, then at her whole pose and finally at her face. Her gaze suddenly sharpens and she asks:

"Dora, are you happy ?"

Seconds tick by as the two humans both remember. Remember Dora replying a too fast "Of course !" before breaking down in tears, sobbing and heaving for what seemed like hours right next to her infant son's bed. Remember a whispered "No", head buried in her hands, as Dora was about to tell her mother the reason she had showed up unannounced with the kids in the first place. Remember saying "Don't worry, it's going to be ok." instead of answering the question as she had left Zoe and Dylan to their grand-mother's care for the fourth night in a row to work overnight at Life.

So Dora doesn't answer immediately, she takes her time.

Is she happy ?

She thinks about the quiet rumble of the ocean as they dive into it's depths, and the sounds of nocturnals animals as they hunt, one with the shadows of the forest. She thinks about the thousands of lights they can see from the very top of the Golden Bridge, and the rush of running freely into San Francisco empty streets. She thinks about Shudder telling her the long guarded secrets of an old forgotten world, and of them both, watching dumb shows on Netflix. She thinks about her children's laughter of delight when Shudder does a "trick" for them. She thinks about it all and finally replies:

"Yes."

Nancy smiles, tension leaving her shoulders:

"Then all is good...

Also does her body really feel like slime or..." She says as her fingers are getting a bit too close to Shudder's body.

"Mom you don't just _poke_ people !"

"- _So this is where Zoe got that habit from ! You are a terrible influence for your grand-children, Nancy !_ -"


	20. The price of fame

The casual bar is comfortable: the music isn't too loud, the food is good and the drinks are reasonably priced, which makes it the perfect place for an appointment such as this one. Dora waits in one of the booth as she sips on her drink.

"The Wanderer ?" A voice asks.

 _"Yes."_ Shudder replies through Dora. They are the one who set up this interview, their host merely driving them around, as interesting as she finds the whole thing: " _You must be Rain ?_ "

"Yes." The brown skinned human is pretty muscular underneath a thick layer of fat, coupled with the leather jacket and heavy silver jewelry they are wearing, they make quite the imposing figure: "You look surprisingly human." Rain jokes while looking at Dora with a bemused smile.

" _So I've been told._ " Shudder replies smoothly.

"Before we start, can you guarantee me that none of this will be used for profit ? I've had troubles with that before."

" _None. My... Other half, has a very well payed job, the blog is merely a passion of mine._ "

"Ok cool. As for your "other half" I'm guessing you're talking about The Doctor ? She seems lovely by the by." Dora chuckles: "I'm a big fan of the blog, I mean you probably guessed that by our exchanges already..."

" _Yet you had some complains._ " Rains straightens as Shudder starts the recording app on Dora's phone:

"Yes, mostly regarding your recent interviews, as interesting as they are, and believe me, they are very interesting: You're a great interviewer and I like the way you confront your own view on things with those interviews. But when it comes to non-binary people, I have noticed the people you interviewed were all very young, skinny, and white..."

" _Indeed, they are the first people who came to me when I said I would conduct interviews related to gender identity on the blog._ "

"That was to be expected..."

The conversation is very interesting. Shudder has learned a lot about politics, discriminations and such in the last months ; and being an alien has been both useful and frustrating to understand and render the complexity of such issues. Hence why they had started the interviews in the first place. Nobody talks about humans better than humans themselves, and Shudder's notes can ensure easier comprehension to an external reader. Rain's takes on some issues, especially regarding the double edged sword of visibility, open a whole new world to Shudder's reflection as she takes notes. Rain is also kind enough to provide a lot of reading material to the symbiote.

When they get back home, an hour or so later, Shudder is radiating contentment. As a scholar, gathering information has always been their pride and joy, and they can still barely believe they get to do so without fear, so the fact that they can interact with humans who are not their host, or their host's family, freely is even more unbelievable. People enjoying their writing or wanting to appear on the blog is just an added bonus really, but Shudder can tell it makes their host proud, and therefore makes them proud. It's a pleasant little loop of pride and happiness.

Sadly, even the smallest amount of fame attracts all kinds of people, even some Shudder would have rather avoided.

...

The next day she is eating lunch at work when Dora's phone informs her she has received a new message. But she freezes mid-bite and her eyes widen in shock when she sees who wrote it.

She hadn't expected to hear from the man ever again once the first few weeks after the Life incident had passed. She had thought he had probably decided to lie low after the whole thing, knowing an interview, or anything of the sort wouldn't do either of them any good.

Yet here it is, the bright notification telling her that Eddie Brock just sent her an email.

Complex emotions swirl around Dora's brain.

Eddie Brock, the other, and only, human being with a symbiote on the whole planet. The only other person who knows everything that happened at Life and tried to do anything about it.

Dora hadn't thought about the man in months, sure Shudder and her had talked about Venom, several times even, but somehow the human they had been cohabiting with had never been brought up by name, almost... Almost as if Shudder herself didn't want to talk about it.

An uncomfortable feeling sets in Dora's gut, heavy as a stone, and it's not hers.

The human tries to ignore it as she opens the email, only to discover it's not addressed to her, but to The Wanderer.

…

They are cooking while singing along to some 80's music, Eddie singing the main while Venom's pseudo head sings the choir.

Venom has been in an especially good mood today since their host has finally given in to their demand to try and meet The Wanderer.

They had been pestering him for weeks. They had tried everything: reasonable arguments:" **THE BLOG HAS BEEN GAIGNING IN POPULARITY, YOU COULD MAKE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT !** ", threats: " **IF YOU DON'T AT LEAST SEND THEM AN EMAIL I** _ **WILL**_ **EAT YOUR LIVER EDDIE !** " and puppy eyes. It was the last one, or maybe their incessant nagging, that had won Eddie over. They have written an e-mail to the Wanderer, well, Eddie has, and now they are waiting for an answer.

Venom is practically vibrating with excitement

They still don't understand why their brilliant " **I LOVE YOUR BLOG AND I THINK YOU'RE AWESOME LET'S MEET !!! *heart emojis*** " has been discarded in favor of Eddie's cold professional e-mail requesting an interview, but whatever works.

Eddie stops singing and head-bobbing as soon as he catches that thought:

"I already told you V, _you_ are not going to meet The Wanderer, I, Eddie Brock, am. I'll let you talk all you want, but you are not showing yourself, and I have a certain reputation to hold up to: I can't go around sending weird emails to strangers because my lover has the internet etiquette of a 10 years old."

" **I'M SURE THE WANDERER WOULDN'T BE HALF AS SHOCKED TO LEARN ONE OF THEIR FAN IS AN ALIEN AS YOU THINK THEY'D BE. THEY'VE BEEN IMPERSONATING ONE FOR MONTHS !** "

"Yeah, right, remind me to show you Galaxy Quest..."

…

Even as she is working on her experiment, Dora still thinks about the email.

It's a request for an interview written in a very professional, yet also very Brock, manner. A few jokes here and there, casual mentions of the blog, and the reason for the interview, something about the rising success of the blog and why this choice in format in the era of social media, vlogs and podcasts.

Dora can't help but think it's the perfect opportunity to reach out to the man.

For the first time since everything started she is wondering how Eddie Brock is managing his own "symbiote situation". Obviously he is doing ok or else she wouldn't have gotten this email, or his name would be all over the news, but she is still curious about the specifics ; and surely so must be Shudder.

She isn't. Her nervousness is radiating through Dora's entire being the whole afternoon.

"Ok, what's the problem here ?" Dora finally asks once they are in the car, on their way to pick up the kids from school.

 _-Nothing-_ Shudder lies through their teeth.

"So _nothing_ made me compromise three bacterial samples ?"

- _..._ -

"This is about Brock isn't it ?... Are you... Are you jealous ?"

There is weight in that statement, as if the answer to that question would have more impact on their symbiosis than anything Dora and Shudder have ever talked about. There is also a painful memory right at the edge of Dora's psyche, Shudder tries to keep it at bay, if only for their sake. They don't want a repeat of their first hunt together.

- _I don't care about the human. I... I just don't want to see Venom._ -

"Why not ? Shouldn't you be excited ?"

- _Excited ? Whatever for ?!_ -

"I don't know, you're on the other side of the galaxy and yet there is another symbiote you can talk to whenever you want, and they don't even want to kill you on sight for high treason ! Isn't that a reason to be excited ?"

- _Ha ! How human of you to think that way..._ -

"Girl, you're a hardcore "The L World" fan, don't give me that "how human" bull."

- _What I mean is that I'm not nearly as interested in reconnecting with my peers as humans are to reconnect with theirs when far away. If anything, I would rather avoid them.-_

"Now you sound like a haughty tourist who doesn't want to got to the same touristic spots as everyone else..."

- _That comparison makes no sense. I just don't want to see Venom because they remind me of... Unpleasant things._ -

"So what ? You're going to avoid them forever ? You know there is a high chance we might run into each other at one point right ? I mean, San Francisco isn't **that** big and they're probably hunting too..."

- _Then we'll deal with it when that happens._ -

"Ok but what if _I_ want to meet Brock ?"

- _You can just call him._ -

"It's not the same and you know it, you never do video calls for interviews on the blog unless the interviewee is too far away to meet in person."

- _Why are you so adamant about meeting him anyway ? What's so interesting about him ?_ \- Shudder's annoyance is met with ice cold anger, so strong it makes them almost physically recoil within their host's body.

"I don't know, maybe I just want to talk to someone who understand what it's like to have a hitchhiker in your own body ?! I mean Shud, he is the literal only person alive on this planet who is in the same situation as me ! Aren't I allowed to want to talk to people now ?! Didn't your interviews clue you in on how important it is for humans to connect or do you just feel like _I_ don't deserve it !?"

Shudder is slightly stunned. There is history there and they are not sure they are ready to deal with that yet. However...

- _Is he though..._ \- The apprehension and the pain that come with that statement is so deep it momentarily distracts Dora from her own pain and fear.

"What do you mean ?"

- _Is he in the same situation as you ? Are_ they _in the same situation as_ us _?_ -

"What ?" Now Dora is completely at loss.

- _You can talk to Brock, of course. But I can't meet Venom, Dora, and you can't ask me to do that for you. At least for now. That's final._ \- Dora breathes in and out slowly:

"I hate you right now." She finally says after a few tense minutes. "But I can work with that. I'll just call him."

- _Thank you._ -

"Go to hell."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back ?!


	21. Nightcall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dora tries something.  
> Also: More porn ! \o/

"Brock listening."

"Eddie ? Hum... It's me... Doctor Skirth."

"Doctor Skirth ? _Dora_ Skirth ? What ? I mean... Why ? I mean how are you ? And why are you calling me ? Should I be worried ?"The journalist sounds as surprised as Dora had felt receiving his message.

"It's fine ! Everything's fine ! Sorry, hum, everything's alright. It's just..." This is so awkward: "You actually sent me a message earlier today. I mean, you didn't send **me** a message but hum, you sent a message to The Wanderer..."

"You're The Wanderer ?!"

"Well..." _No._ "Yes."

"Oh, that explains the whole Doctor thing... I had no idea you wrote though."

"I didn't but everyone kept telling me it was a great way to cope... After Life..."

"But why ? I mean you've encountered real... You know. Why would you write from the point of view of a fake one ? "

"So have you. Encountered real aliens I mean."

"Uh... Yeah..."

"How are _you_ coping ?"

"I'd rather not talk about it over the phone."

_Of course._

"When can we meet ?"

"Hum... I..."

"Doctor is something wrong ?"

Why are adults always so perceptive when it comes to her lies...

- _Has it ever occurred to you you were just easy to read ?_ -

"Now is really not the time." Dora grits, realizing her mistake too late.

"Doctor Skirth ?"

"Sorry, the kids are being a pain..."

"Rude !" Zoe interjects, rightfully affronted. She's been quietly doing her homework on the dining room table for the last 15 minutes. Dora mouthes "sorry" at her, but she only gets an "humph" in return. Ignoring her for now, she goes back to the journalist:

"I didn't know you had children..."

"Two of them, add work into the mix and you can imagine how busy I am. So yeah, unless we can talk over the phone maybe it's better if we call this whole interview thing off."

"Doctor, I don't know what's up but..."

"Forget about it. Bye Brock."

 _And this is why Eddie Brock is the journalist and I almost ended up dead in a locked lab._ Dora thinks grimly as she cuts the call.

On the other side, Eddie blinks at his phone. That was strange.

 **"SOMETHING'S UP."** Venom vocalizes.

"Yeah, something is definitely up with the good doctor and given who she used to work for that could spell trouble for us."

" **SO WHAT DO WE DO ? GET HER ADRESS ?"**

"Maybe it won't come to that just yet. I have a better idea."

…

Between the email, the compromised bacteria samples, the fight with Shudder and the failed attempt at connection with Eddie Brock, today's been a shitty day through and through. So of course the kids had to be been annoying too. After the small reprieve of dinner, Dylan had one of his rare, but spectacular, temper tantrum, and Zoe's need to prove her maturity by scolding him had only made it worse. It had lead to both kids being sent to their room early, with no TV or video games and though they have been fast asleep Dora and Shudder's minds are still buzzing with annoyance several hours later.

Dora would love nothing more than to sleep too, but she just cannot relax. Instead she is fumbling on her phone, even though she is already in her pajamas... Well at least in the loose t-shirt that serves as one.

- _Dora_ -

"What ?"

- _Can we masturbate ?_ -

"The wand is a bit loud." She replies.

- _We don't have to use it... I just want to feel good._ \- Shudder would never actually say it, but they also want to feel closer to their host. Ever since they had that conversation in the car there is a distance here that they don't like.

Dora can feel it though, feel Shudder discomfort and restlessness. She wonders, for the hundredth time today what on Earth, or in outer space, is up with her symbiote and when the stubborn dumbass is finally going to talk to her about it. But then Dora remembers it had taken literal months for the scholar to open up about their life on Klyntar and the scientist accepts that she is not going to get a straight answer out of Shudder, and especially not right now.

"Alright, yeah, it might do both of us good actually." She is about to find a comfortable position when Shudder takes her by surprise by saying:

- _Actually...I'd like to touch._ -

That's... A bit unexpected and Dora thinks about it for a few seconds before she replies. It could be argued that this is way more than masturbation, but then again hadn't it been so the first time already ?

"Yeah, sure, why not." She finally says, getting tangled but happy feelings in return.

Dora simply lies on the bed, on her back, as a blue pseudo limb grows from her shoulder ; she massages it encouragingly. Soon Shudder is gently caressing her face: her strong jaw, her high cheekbones and her sharp nose. They all feel very different from the outside. Different from when her host touches them herself, and different from when the features are all encased within Shudder's body. Dora smiles a little and her strikingly long and black eyelashes flutter while little spark of pleasure run through their bound.

She likes the touches. So does Shudder.

- _Can I kiss you ?_ \- Shudder asks. They have kissed before, or more precisely, Shudder has kissed Dora before, but the human doesn't remember.

"Actually, I do remember."

- _...You caught that ?_ -

"Yes, for some reason you are projecting so loudly even _I_ can pick up on it. I remember, I just didn't realize that was supposed to be a kiss. But now that I know, I remember. So yeah, go on, kiss me."

She does. Shudder tendril caresses Dora's delicate lips, she feels the warmth of her breath, the dampness of her saliva, the sound of her pulse and many other informations which she already knows. Some of them have changed. The kiss used to say "this host will have to do for now" but now it tells a very different story, one Shudder keeps boxed up somewhere deep and hidden, somewhere Dora will never have access to no matter how strongly they might ever project. They don't want to share that story just yet.

Shudder changed. Dora changed. They changed each other on molecular level in order for their symbiosis to work, they are still changing at this very moment.

There is beauty in that change, yet it still breaks Shudder's heart...

Amusement lights up in her host's mind.

"You call that a kiss ?" Dora chuckles, her smile is overwhelming: "Show me your face."

Shudder complies, and Dora kisses her. The human's hands cup the sides of her pseudo head, the very same that once made her scream in horror, and presses her fragile lips to the edges of her monstrous maw, licks her razor sharp teeth, all without a hint of fear or disgust.

Shudder is awed, shivering under the human's ministrations. Especially when said human parts her lips to lick, suck, and play with her sensitive inches long tongue before taking it in her own mouth.

Dora is warm, she always is around Shudder as she move around her organs, but this is different. She is warm and wet in ways that make the alien feel amazed and terrified.

There is pleasure. So much, on both sides of their bound, as Shudder explores her host's mouth, caresses her small tongue and lick her sensitive palate. The human moans sweetly, vibrating against her. Shudder _feels_ so much it makes her wide opalescent eyes turn into slits in the ever blue of her face.

Dora can tell how intense and new it is for her symbiote, she can feel it, the exhilaration of the contact but also the shape of her own mouth against something that is not her tongue, it feels like it is but at the same time it is also so much more sensitive and pleasurable.

Other tendrils go questing, stroking the human's neck, her collarbone, then slowly going down to her chest, under the collar of the human's shirt. They cup her small breasts, massage them, enjoy the way they feel: full, round and squishy against their multiplying limbs. It's relaxing, intimate and it makes Dora's heart beat a tad bit faster.

Shudder finishes her exploration of Dora's breasts with the tip, rolling the hardened buds of her nipples between several small tendril and...

- _Oh..._ -

Dora's whole body tenses, but not in an unpleasant way, her toes curl, her belly clenches, and her finger's hold on their mass strengthens.

- _Too much ?_ \- Shudder asks.

"No, no, good, keep going."

She does, caressing and massaging the darkened nipples in her hold. It makes Dora squirm deliciously, makes her tighten, between her legs and inside her, makes her suck harder on Shudder's tongue.

Soon the symbiote feels like moaning too and more tendrils appear underneath Dora's clothes, stroking her sides, exploring her belly before going down.

Here Shudder hesitates. This is not a part of her body Dora has ever allowed Shudder to touch before, and this isn't one that should be touched lightly. Well, no part of the body should be touched lightly but if Shudder has learned anything about humanity is that their genitals crystallise _a lot_ of concepts and fears.

- _Can I ?_ \- She asks.

Dora stops kissing her. She is breathless, flushed, quivering from want and has an iron grip on Shudder's back, which she partially formed over her host while the rest of her body is still mostly shapeless tentacles. The human's pupils are so blown they're the size black holes, swallowing everything around them, Shudder included.

"Yes." She says: "Please."

Shudder's tendril goes lower, pressing against her host's plump lips through the fabric of her panties, feeling the uneven curls of her pubic hair, the hardened shape of her clitoris, and the wetness of her entrance.

A first tentative rub against the sensitive parts sends a jolt of electricity through both Shudder and Dora.

Yes.

This is good.

This is _right._

Shudder thickens the tendril to make it cover more surfaces and starts rubbing Dora's sex through her underwear in a steady rhythm with just the right amount of pressure to make Dora feel it, to make them both feel it.

Shudder's touch expands the patch of wetness on the fabric until her underwear are a soaked useless thing only there to be bypassed as Shudder's tendrils, now numerous around her human's quivering sex, endeavor to feel the wet welcoming flesh directly.

Every time the tendrils do so much as brush her engorged clitoris the sensations are so intense Dora has to bite something, Shudder's shoulder most of the time, to keep herself from moaning too loudly. It shouldn't be so strong, but somehow the fact that Shudder is touching her directly and not through a toy or anything else makes the pleasure so much more intense and the loop so much shorter, Shudder and Dora feeding on each other's pleasure on top of their own.

Dora glances down at her distorted and drenched underwear as tendrils move under it in frenzy and quakes.

Dora's parts get even wetter, and at that point the invitation to just, slip inside, deep inside that welcoming heat, is becoming really hard to resist.

"YES." Dora replies to the question Shudder hasn't asked yet.

Shudder's tendril, no, tendrils, several of them, comply. Sliding inside and...

Shudder ripples, shaken to the core.

A whole part of her host's body, pretty much, just, invited her in and it's... It's incredible. Warm, tight, velvety, full of complex fluid and constricting against her. And here comes the loop, the other side, her host's feelings of stimulation, of fullness, of want. She wants her to move, to stroke to make her come, and Shudder wants to do that but also:

- _I... Tongue... I... No teeth... hgn..._ -

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead."

How did she even understand that ?

Doesn't matter, Shudder takes out her tendrils, they are still glistening with fluids, but the symbiote simply absorbs them. And soon Shudder's long agile tongue is the one exploring Dora's entrance, pushing between her folds, filling her, making her shake and bite her hand as she tries and fails not to make a sound. Her panties entirely discarded and her legs spread wide to accommodate the alien's head.

Sometimes Shudder takes her tongue out to rub her clit with it, the texture making Dora's moan that much louder and the fireworks in their bound that much intense. That is until Shudder has the brilliant idea of making herself two mouths with two tongues: one to fuck hard into that tightening wetness that never seems to want to let her go, and one to lick and rub the thousands of nerves ending that light up whenever it touches Dora's clit.

The two mouths are working furiously on the human as tendrils keep caressing her tights, her breast and even her face in reverence.

At that point Dora pretty much looses it.

She is beyond words, moans or screams. Her body is arched on the bed, and her grip on Shudder's head mays as well be iron, her mouth open in a silent scream as her eyes roll to the back of her head.

Shudder literally melts on the spot. Incapable of keeping their form because of the intensity of their shared orgasm. She melts everywhere, on her, in her, until she is just a poodle of blue on Dora's cooling skin, absorbing into her pores like rain into desert sand.

They stay several minutes stunned into complete silence Dora breathing heavily before Shudder pools out of her skin into a little blob on the sheets. The scientist absentmindedly running her fingers through her alien's mass as her eyes close and her breathing evens out.


	22. The invitation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FELLINGS  
> *Characters run around in panic*

_Should they talk about it ? Is there anything to talk about ?_ Dora wonders the next day once the heavy fog of sleep has dissipated.

The human is in a better mood than yesterday and so is Shudder, but sadly, as good as it feels, fucking someone's brain out has never actually solved any issue. If anything, that has only raised more questions on Dora's side of things.

What are they ?

"You are my host, it's a relationship in itself." Comes back often in Dora's mind. Is that the status of their relationship ? Symbiote and host who occasionally fuck ? Like some sort of roommate slash sex-friend ?...

What kind of sex-friend takes care of your kids ?

Dora would say they are girlfriends at that point but there is something missing. Something big that she doesn't want to do without. Something she doesn't dare to ask Shudder about, fearing her answer, especially now that she seem to be dealing with something heavy herself, whatever that may be.

Their next hunt is strangely tense.

It takes them several tries to catch a prey they would have usually done a quick work of and even after lunch they feel antsy.

In an attempt to make the tension go away they have sex again, several times, Dora initiating most of them. It does work for a short while, they feel relaxed and in touch with each other, but then the tension comes back with vengeance.

Even though Dora never had any trouble telling her emotions apart from Shudder's, it takes a while for the scientist to understand that part of the tension she is feeling is an echo of the alien's utter and mind numbing _dread_.

She sighs: "Shudder, you will have to tell what's wrong at some point. You know that right ?"

But Shudder stays obstinately silent.

A few days later, they receive yet another email for The Wanderer, this one from a transgender man working at a local LGBT association and would like to chat a bit about some posts on the blog and see if they could use them as material for the association.

Shudder is very intrigued and Dora quite excited. It's been a while since she last connected with the local queer scene so she eagerly accepts.

The following Sunday is a bright and sunny day that could almost make Dora forget they are still a month and a half away from spring. After watching over the kids as they play at the local park, she leaves them in her mother's care as she goes to her appointment.

Dora is about to cross the street to get into the cafe where they are supposed to meet Terrance when her body downright freezes. Every single cell goes rigid and Dora cannot even blink. The next second she starts walking backward very slowly through no control of her own.

_Shudder ?! What's happening ?!_

- _We need to leave. Now._ \- Is the quipped answer she gets as she turns around and starts walking toward her car at a steady speed. Shudder doesn't run, and Dora isn't sure whether that reassures her or worry her more.

The symbiote doesn't relinquish control until they are several miles away from the cafe.

"What happened ?" Dora asks, her voice shrill. For Shudder to have taken complete control of her for several minutes despite her deep respect for Dora and her reluctance at controlling a host, the situation must have been dire.

- _I don't know what Terrance look like, supposing he exists at all, but Venom was waiting for us inside that cafe._ -

Cold sweat starts to run down the human's back. She had never envisioned her meeting with Eddie Brock and Venom to be anything but peaceful, and had always assumed Shudder's fear of meeting her kin was out pride or fear of ghosts of a past she knew little about. But now, after such a stunt, she is starting to wonder what exactly is the pair's intention for calling them out.

"Do you think they saw us ?" She asks. But Shudder's answer provides no comfort as she grimly says:

- _I don't know._ -

...

Eddie puts down his hot cocoa as he asks his other internally:

_So ?_

**SHE RAN AWAY.**

_And ?_

**SHE HAS A SYMBIOTE.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, more people panicking for more or less good reasons.


	23. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, the meeting we've all been waiting for is here !

Venom is piloting them both, though they look very human, as they ride his bike to Dora's address simply by following her scent. Eddie would almost feel sorry for the scientist if he wasn't now convinced she is hiding something dangerous from them.

Venom might not be the strongest of their kind, but they are a very good hunter, have always been. That's how they had found Eddie when they had been separated.

"Someone you know ? The symbiote I mean." Eddie asks after a few minutes, both too curious and too nervous to postpone the question any longer.

**IT HAS TO BE ONE OF US FOUR.**

"Couldn't Klyntar send others ?"

**THEY WOULDN'T BOTHER. THEIR GOAL WAS TO EITHER GET A NEW COLONY OR HAVE US ALL DEAD. SINCE WE DIDN'T COME BACK ON OUR OWN, THEY MUST ASSUME US DEAD.**

"Wow... That's... Wow." The pair doesn't talk about Klyntar much. No, scratch that, they never talk about Klyntar. Venom never brings it up and Eddie, despite his curiosity, never asks. So Eddie had no idea that their other half had been very literal when they had said colonizing Earth was a suicide mission.

"So you can tell it's another symbiote but not who ?"

**NOT YET. WE ARE NOT CLOSE ENOUGH.**

"Well I hope it's not Riot..."

**RIOT'S DEAD.**

"You were supposed to be dead too, remember ?" Eddie's right and that makes Venom uneasy: "What are the other two options ?"

**SHUDDER OR CARRION. IF IT'S CARRION WE MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE. THEY USED TO ADMIRE RIOT BUT NEVER MANAGED TO _BE_ THEM. THEY MIGHT TRY TO COMPLETE THE MISSION EVEN AFTER ALL THIS TIME. BUT I CAN'T IMAGINE THEM CREATING ANYTHING OR BE SMART ENOUGH TO LAY SUCH A CONVOLUTED TRAP.**

"And if it's Shudder ?"

**THE BLOG IS THE KIND OF THING THEY WOULD DO.**

"So what does that mean for us ?"

 **HARD TO SAY. SHUDDER IS NOTHING LIKE RIOT OR CARRION... THEY ARE...** They hesitate: **A PRACTICAL PERSON. THEY NEVER GAVE A FUCK ABOUT THE MISSION AND THEY PROBABLY WOULDN'T TRY TO HARM US UNLESS THEY THOUGHT US A THREAT TO THEY SURVIVAL. HOWEVER, IF THEY DO, THEY DEFINITELY HAVE THE MENTAL CAPACITY TO PLAN A SCHEME OVER SEVERAL MONTHS AND THEY _CAN_ BE RUTHLESS.**The words may be harsh, but Venom is not in a bad mood. If anything they are almost excited at the prospect of the mysterious symbiote being Shudder and that surprises Eddie. Until now his other had only ever express hatred or contempt toward their kind.

"Uh... You know them ? I mean, you all knew them, but you actually got along with that one ?"

**YES. TO A POINT.**

"Were you in a relationship ?"

**NO.**

"Ok..."

**THEY WERE MORE LIKE A MENTOR OF SORTS.**

"Wow, like, Gandalf ?"

 **NO. LIKE MORPHEUS.** The implications of that are enormous since Venom is a big fan of The Matrix.

"When all of this is sorted out we really need to talk about Klyntar."

…

They have barely arrived home when Shudder uses a tentacle to grab and unlock Dora's phone, shoving it in her own hands hurriedly:

- _Call Nancy.-_ They order, leaving no room for argument: _-Tell her the kids are sleeping at her place tonight._ -

"What, why ?"

- _If Venom picked up our scent they're going to follow it here. They are worse than a blood hound._ -

"And you drove us right back home ? Shouldn't we go somewhere else ?!"

- _It's no use. I'd rather meet here behind closed doors than exposed in an unfamiliar environment anyway._ -

They have just hung up on Nancy when the doorbell rings. Well, at least they are ringing, maybe it's a sign they will be able to settle this matter in a somewhat civilized fashion... That doesn't stop Dora's hand from shaking a little as she opens the door, and she can feel Shudder encasing her whole, right under her skin, like some sort of protective amor.

Eddie Brock is on the other side of the door. He has changed a lot since the last time she saw him. He used to look like a train wreck: rumpled clothes, posture like he was constantly carrying something half his weight, and bags under his eyes so big they wouldn't be accepted as hand luggage. Now he stands straighter, dresses somewhat decently, and looks slightly healthier. Though right now he looks mostly embarrassed:

"Hey Doctor Skirth. Uh, sorry about the whole stalker-y thing..."

"- _Shut it and come in before someone sees you._ -" Shudder says though Dora's mouth, viciously killing any attempt at civility.

As soon as Eddie has walked in, they slam the door behind him. Almost immediately, a pseudo head sprouts from the human's shoulder, not unlike Shudder's own, but somehow very different. Shudder's is leaner, more reminiscent of a reptile than the slightly rounder shape of Venom's, their eyes are also a very different shape, Venom's eye look a little more logical than Shudder's which seem to end in splashes of paint.

The numerous rows of teeth, intimidating glare and longer than necessary tongue, however, seem to be common traits across every members of the specie. Traits which Dora would have gladly done without. She may find them attractive on Shudder now, that doesn't make them any less threatening on someone else.

" **IT REALLY _IS_ YOU.**" The black symbiote says, eyes wide.

"- _What do you want ?_ -" Shudder replies, forming a pseudo head on their own.

" **IT WAS YOU WASN'T IT ? THAT NIGHT, AT LIFE.** **YOU SAVED US.** "

"What ?!" Eddie asks, hearing about that for the first time. He had always assumed Anne had been the one who had dragged them out of the water.

" **I THOUGHT I WAS HALLUCINATING BUT I WASN'T, YOU REALLY WERE THERE.** "

"- _So what ? Did you come all this way to thank me ? Surely you could have done so without laying this ridiculous trap_.-"

" **THAT YOU TOTALLY FELL FOR.** " Venom can't help boasting, even though technically it was Eddie's idea: **"I JUST WANTED TO MEET THE WANDERER AT FIRST. I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS YOU. BUT IT'S SO OBVIOUS NOW.** " Despite everything, Venom can't help to praise The Wanderer excitedly: **"I REALLY LOVE YOUR WRITING ! IT EXPLAINS HUMAN THINGS WELL AND IT'S VERY RELATABLE !** " Dora can tell Shudder wants to keep the unfriendly demeanor, for what reason she cannot imagine, but Venom's comment still makes her heart swell with fondness and pride. Her reply, however, is ice-cold:

"- _Couldn't you just write a comment ?_ -"

" **I DID ! THE USERNAME'S INKBLACKBLOOD YOU ACTUALLY REPLIED SEVERAL TIMES. YOU'RE WAY NICER ONLINE BY THE WAY...** "

"Never meet your idol." Eddie mutters.

This is getting very awkward very fast for both symbiotes' host. Taking Eddie's quip as an the opportunity to intervene Dora says:

"Hey, how about we continue this conversation around a cup of tea ? Instead of like... In the entrance." At least it would give the humans something to do with their hands, and a good way to hide their faces a little.

"Great idea !"

" _-...Sure.-_ "

" **I'D RATHER HAVE HOT CHOCOLATE.** "

"Hot chocolate, coming right up !"

The room falls into silence as Shudder and Dora prepare the drink, the human's and alien's limbs working together in harmony as they take out a pot, a milk carton and cocoa powder.

While they are busy Eddie and Venom entertain themselves by taking a look at their surrounding. The apartment is homely. Pictures of bright smiles missing a few teeth are put up on the walls and stickmen drawings are stuck to the fridge with animals magnets. So Dora does have children. Eddie wonders how that works with the whole "eating people to stay alive" thing. Do they even know about the symbiote ? How come Dora even has a symbiote ?

"Thanks." Eddie says as Dora puts the steaming cup down on the table: "So uh... How did you two..."

"Drake tried to kill me using Shudder." She replies: "He learned I had helped you break in and since most symbiosis attempt had ended with the host dying..." Eddie blanches:

"I had no idea."

"You couldn't have known. It happened while you were on the run."

" **HE ATTEMPTED FOR YOU TO KILL EACH OTHER BUT YOU BOUNDED INSTEAD. JUST LIKE...** "

"- _Yes Venom just like when Rrkled was thrown into the arena to fight Dälridl in the Dagsdilva. And the power of our new formed bound turned all the coal in the kingdom of Deld into diamond !-"_ Shudder says, tone derisive before it turns downright furious: _"-Damnit Venom do you hear yourself ?! Can you stop being a sorry sap for like, five seconds ?!_ -"

" **YOU TAUGHT ME THAT STORY !** " Venom growls back. " **YOU TAUGHT ME THE MEANING OF THE WORD "SAP" ! YOU'RE THE REASON I'M HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE ! AND NOW WE'RE HERE, FREE, JUST THE TWO OF US AND OUR OTHERS. SHUDDER, WE WON ! WE SHOULD BE CELEBRATING ! BUT INSTEAD YOU AVOID ME AS IF I HAD SOME TERRIBLE DISEASE ! AND WHEN I DO FIND YOU, YOU INSULT ME !"**

"- _Oh,_ ** _I_** _avoid_ ** _you_** _now ? That's rich ! Who avoided me for years once they got strong enough to subjugate a host ?! Who refused to learn how to record ?!_ -"

" **I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO TO SURVIVE, YOU KNOW THIS ! BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU ?! ISN'T THIS YOU DREAM COME TRUE ?! WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE A GODAMN PRICK ?!** "

"- _My dream come true ?! Venom you know NOTHING about my dreams ! You know nothing about the things I had to do to stay alive. I'm not like you, caught up in some stupid fantasy ! You think this sorry meat suit is your Txetlu ? It's just another host Venom ! There is no such a thing as perfect symbiosis ! It's all a lie !_ \- For a few seconds Eddie is convinced Venom is going to kill their mentor. They are seething, rage so hot it feels like melted iron. But strangely enough it cools off as Venom seem to realize something:

" **...I SEE. YOU'RE JUST BITTER. OR JEALOUS. OR BOTH. YOU KNOW SHUDDER, JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T EXPERIENCE SOMETHING DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESN'T EXIST.** "

- _I'm not jealous of your moronic ass and I'm certainly not jealous of your delusions._ -

" **YEAH ? THEN GO AHEAD. TOUCH US.** " The symbiote taunts as they morph into the imposing figure of Venom offering one of their gigantic claw, palm up:

" **See for yourself how delusional we are.** "

After a few seconds of hesitation, Shudder touches Venom, and it is _exactly_ as she had feared.

They are holy. Perfect, and total symbiosis. The kind of bound that makes the universe light up galaxies in both glee and warning to whoever would try to separate what was made to be whole. Thoughts and feelings flowing freely between their twin sun minds, discordant views of the universe miraculously slotting into each other's like the pieces of an intricate puzzle, and love, love in amounts too monumental to bear, love like looking straight at the heart of a freshly born star.

It makes Shudder want to cry, it makes her want to scream, to devour herself from the inside out just so she can make the pain stop... This is unfair ! She had given up ! She had chosen a different path, built something else, something she was happy with and proud of. They had no right to come and burn it all away like that !

She cannot compete with a dream.

Venom feels the raw pain and doesn't understand, doesn't understand why Shudder would hurt, why Shudder would fear. Doesn't understand that Shudder doesn't see what Venom sees.

That what Venom sees is beautiful.

It's like the first time Venom had witnessed Shudder scripture, fascinated by the geometrical shapes her body was morphing into. Her bound to her other is like a moving spiderweb of crystal fractals shimmering between two minds so foreign the sheer fact that they can interact feels like a miracle. The endless dance of questions and answers, of desires and fears, feelings and thoughts forming a vast network, like rope bridges thrown across the void. Delicate, intricate, and awe inspiring in it's complexity. It is communication and change on atomic level.

When they detangle and Venom recedes from Eddie, the human again can't help but stare at Dora for a few seconds, slightly stunned by what he just experienced.

Dora is just confused, all she feels is agony, even more than before. There had been a short spark of wonder and then it had all went to shit, Shudder getting hurt in some way during this conversation she hadn't been a part of.

" **SHUDDER...** " Venom starts, their pseudo head still apparent.

But Shudder has withdrawn into Dora's body, curling herself up somewhere below her lungs and closing up entirely, angst the only emotion leaking out of the raised walls around her mind.

"I'm afraid she doesn't want to talk to you anymore." Dora says to the alien. They sigh but don't insist, disappearing back into Eddie's body. Almost immediately Dora's phone ring, her panicked mother asking her if she is alright on the other side: "Mom, I'm fine, it's just... Hum... We met a friend. No, Shudder's friend... Yes... And we weren't sure how that would go. But it's alright now, we just talked. Yes. Yes, just give me a few more minutes, ok. Yes, love you, bye."

"So... Your mother knows about the symbiote ?"

"Yeah. My kids too. You ?"

"My ex and her fiancé."

A beat:

"I should probably go. But uh... We could grab a hot chocolate some other time if that's ok ?"

"Yeah sure. I mean, our symbiotes may hate each other but I'd like to talk some more, I don't really have anyone else who _understands_ you know."

"Yeah, I know. How about you give me a call when your other has calmed down. I mostly work freelance now so I can adjust my schedule."

"I'll do that, Saturdays are no good but we can meet after work or on Sundays."

"Ok good. See you around uh..."

"Dora's ok."

"Alright, call me Eddie then."

"Bye Eddie."

"Bye Dora."


	24. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FEEEEEELLLLIIINNNGGSSS

Dora wants to ask what that was all about, but Shudder is silence incarnate as the human tries to parse meaning from the conversation the aliens had had aloud.

From what she can decipher, Eddie and Venom are experiencing a widely different type of symbiosis from them, and for some reason that upsets Shudder. But no matter how much she thinks about it, the scientist cannot imagine why.

Hadn't the scholar made it perfectly clear, several times, that Dora and Shudder were two separate beings ? Why would she suddenly find it a source of distress ? But then again, hadn't Shudder been touchy about the subject in the past ?

Is Shudder dissatisfied with their symbiosis ? Wishing that they were more like Venom and Eddie, perfectly made from each other like the pre-klyntarians and their sister specie ? That makes no sense, Shudder is not physically bound to Dora, she can leave any time she wants, find a better suited host if she wishes to.

Yeah, the idea of Shudder leaving makes the human's inside tie into knots and her eyes water, but what about this is new ? She's been in that situation countless times before. The most painful one being Abigail. But she had lived through it, had found balance, if not happiness. And she would live through it again, and one day she would look back on this year with fondness, just like she had before.

Pain was just a necessary stage.

It's not as if they had wanted this relationship anyway. It had all been an accident, better to call it off now than to hurt each other on the long run. Right ?

Positive thinking doesn't stop Dora from crying for several minutes.

...

It takes Nancy's blintzes and the children's excitement at playing mario party with their mother and grand mother to finally lure Shudder out of her silence. Neither Dora or her really feel good, but the kids laughter and the sugary taste of sweets are soothing and the pain recedes, little by little.

…

When Purim arrives Dora and Shudder are on speaking term again. Actually, it's almost as if the whole incident with Eddie and Venom never happened. Not that they talk about it. They probably should but, for once, Dora is perfectly content to emulate Shudder in ignoring the elephant in the room.

The kids insist on going to the carnival as "Other Mommy", big white eyes and sharp teeth painted in white on their blue colored faces. The alien is ecstatic as the little monsters chase children through the carnival, their prey giggling before screaming in faux-horror when they get caught and "eaten". Their parents however fail to conceal their horror at the display.

"Children have such a wild imagination !" Nancy and Dora placate.

Truth be told the adults, Shudder included, are way more interested in the food than the costumes, the sweet scent of hamantaschen making their mouth water even as they bake it.

By the time the kids are asleep, Dora and her resident alien are filled with sugar, happiness and warmth, and there doesn't seem to be a hint of discomfort between them. So it comes as a bit of a surprise when Shudder suddenly asks:

- _Dora. Can we go hunting ?_ -

Which the human immediately interprets as "We need to talk."

The reprieve could only last for so long.

"Yeah, sure."

After warning her mom that they are going out, Dora puts comfortable sports clothes and walk into the night. They take the bus to their favorite hunting spot, but once they arrive at the deserted Presidio park, Shudder seems to be in no hurry to swim across to the Marine Headlands.

"I imagine this is about Venom and Eddie." Dora starts, bracing herself.

" _-Yes.-_ " Shudder replies aloud, which they rarely do. " _-I'm sorry for the distress I've been causing you this past few weeks.-_ "

"It's ok..." It's not ok, Dora feels tears rise even as she says it, but it will be. Eventually, it will be. It has to.

" _-Venom and Eddie... No, Venom. Venom is whole. They may look and feel like distinct elements when wearing Eddie's appearance but when they turn... They are something else. A third being entirely. They_ _ **are**_ _Tüüsdel. It's... It's the kind of things ancient scriptures talk about in reverence. Until three weeks ago I wasn't even sure if it was real ! I had stopped believing in it like children stop believing in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy and... And suddenly... And suddenly that imbecile just comes and shoves it my face !-_ "

"Shudder..."

"- _No. Let me finish. I was like them once. I believed every single thing the scriptures said without caring wether they might have been fictions or not. I dreamed of finding my perfect half, of singing the Ordelad and of being part of a whole like assembling pieces of a puzzle. But I lived THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF YEARS. I am so much older than Venom and Venom is older than most of your civilizations ! I could not afford to stay a star eyed moron forever. I had to survive ! I had to lower my expectations !_ -"

"So you settled for me ? For the second best ?" Dora is crying now, she can't help it, she had expected it but it still hurts.

"- _No. Our meeting might not have been the best but I never_ settled _for you. I could have gone and find another host the second we left Life, I could have left you any time I wanted._ -"

"Then go ! Go now that you know your perfect half is out there somewhere ! LEAVE ! I can take it ! I'll tell the kids you found someone else, we don't need you anyway, we'll live."

"- _NO ! Dora I don't WANT to leave you ! I don't want to leave you, or the kids, or this !_ -"

"Why not ?! There is someone out there, perfect for you, your dream come true, you'll be happy."

"- _But they won't be you._ -"

"What..."

"- _Dora Skirth. I love you._ -"

The human is stunned. Shocked into silence as warmth wash over her despite the cold air of early spring:

"- _When I started to realize that Venom might actually have accomplished what used to be my dream I first expected to only be jealous or angry. But I didn't. And at that moment I realized I wasn't the same person I was all those millennium ago. It wasn't about lowering my expectations anymore, my dreams, my wants, had changed drastically between the young scholar I was on Klyntar and Shudder now on Earth._

_Instead of being jealous, I was terrified._

_I was terrified because I was convinced it meant that what we have, you and I, could not continue. That our relationship would be invalidated by theirs, that what I had felt so deeply would only turn out to be some kind of farce. But... It did not. I saw. I saw the power of their bound, holy and bright..._

_And nothing changed._

_I still found your foreign body beautiful and it's warmth comforting. I still loved your laughter and your tears and your emotions as a whole, even if they are not, and will never be, entirely ours to experience. I was still amazed by your intricate mind, no matter if it is to remain forever apart from mine. If anything, it only makes it more amazing. And days passed, and Zoe whined, and Dylan laughed, and Nancy cooked and I realised that **this** is where I want to be as long as you'll allow me._

_I love you, Dora._

_You are not second best, you are not my lowered expectation, you are amazing and I am so very sorry I made you feel that way just because I am an idiot who's too proud to speak of her fears._ -"

Dora cannot stop crying, her own tears mixing up with Shudders. Her heart is filled to the brim with emotions so intense she feels it in the back of her throat. And she want to reply, but she just cannot because that would require that she stopped sobbing long enough to talk. Shudder is patient with her frail human paramour, waiting for her to calm down before she asks:

"- _Dora, do you love me ?_ -"

"Yes you fucking idiot ! You might be the biggest moron on this side of the universe but I love you ! And I'm so happy right now I could die !"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually cried writing a line in this chapter. (I'll let you guess which one) X'D  
> In my defence it was very late and I was super tired !


	25. Day one

Dora and Shudder spend almost all night outside. They go swimming, eat an entire deer family, and kiss on top of the Golden Bridge under the full moon.

And it's the most amazing date Dora has ever been on.

They are still lovingly intertwined at the top of a pillar, Shudder partially formed around Dora, hugging her small frame in her own muscular yet lean one when Dora asks:

"What if you do meet them ? Your perfect other half, the Txetlu to you Tëëtslid ?" The question is a heavy one, but the human is relaxed, nowhere near as on edge as she was a few hours ago.

"- _What if you met another Abigail ?-"_ Shudder asks in return: _"-What if_ I _end up being in the way of your happiness ?_ -"

"...What would you do then ?"

"- _I would leave._ -" Shudder replies. "- _Don't get me wrong, it would be painful, but life is painful as we both know._ -"

"So if you met your other half, we'd probably just breakup... Yeah. That makes sense."

"- _Right ? But to be honest, I don't want to think about that right now. I spent so much time projecting to just... Survive. Thinking of the future, of when I could finally leave for another planet. But I'm here now. And I'm happy here, with you. I just want to savor it a little longer._ -"

"You're right. It's nice to savor. To stop worrying about the future or the past and just... Be. Now."

They consider sitting there to watch the sunrise but ultimately decide against it, running through the streets as the stars start to disappear and the pale light of dawn bleeds into the night sky.

…

Dora wakes up to the sound of the tv blaring in the other room, and the scent of pancakes and coffee. She puts on pajama pants and walk into the living room like a zombie. She could have slept a few more hours to be honest, as fun as last night has been, she still feels barely functional.

- _Nothing a cup of coffee won't fix._ \- Shudder says, amused.

"Ah, look who's finally up !" Nancy teases as she fixes her daughter a plate of pancakes and takes out chocolate milk out of the fridge for Shudder.

"'Morning mom ! 'Morning Other Mommy !" Zoe greets them, her eyes leaving the TV screen just long enough to do so.

"Good morning !" Dylan beams.

Shudder strokes both of their hair fondly, eliciting giggles from the kids. "Good morning everyone. Slept well ?"

"Like a log !" Nancy replies: "Oh, by the way you'll never guess who I talked to at the synagog last morning, while you were taking Zoe to the bathroom..."

Dora listen to the latest gossip while munching on fresh pancakes drizzled in chocolate syrup. In the background, she can hear her children laughing at their favorite cartoon character's antics, and by her side, her alien girlfriend sips on a glass of chocolate milk.

The fresh, clear light of spring illuminates the room.

Dora smiles as she drinks her coffee, warmth spreading within her from way more than the drink: peace and happiness, hers and her symbiote's, filling her whole.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading this fic and commenting !  
> There were so many times I wanted to reply to the comments but couldn't because it would spoil the story ! X'D  
> I had tons of fun writing this fic so I hope you enjoyed my interpretation of Dora Skirth and liked Shudder as a character !  
> Now that the story is complete don't hesitate to tell me what you liked about it !


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